by Laura Farnsworth

Created on: April 01, 2009

Regrets or Fears

People have regrets through out their lives. Sometimes it is just little things and others are major or so you feel at the time. I've trusted people in life and turned around to regret it later. People who claim to be your friend and turns out they really never were, but were just using you for some little thing that was needed at the time.

You can have regrets for going to a party, signing up for a dating service, sharing your most treasured secrets with someone or for expressing an opinion. Granted the opinion you expressed was yours and everyone is entitled to their own opinion and last time I checked this was America and everyone is entitled to freedom of speech.

People should never be afraid of saying what they feel. I've always tried to be a nice as possible, but some times there is just not way of saying something that needs to be said without hurting someone's feeling or stepping on someone's toes. How is it then when you are expressing your opinion and someone reads too much into it or becomes offended, they think you are bitter or mean or rude or abrupt? I've walked through life on egg shells sometimes because I was afraid to say what I mean or what I think. As I've gotten older, I've decided that I don't really need to worry what people think or what they are going to think of me for saying what I feel.

I know that deep down, my blood relatives are not going to care if I say something that might make them mad or hurt them. I use my writing as a means to get my feelings out in the open and once done it's over with and I can get on with life. However, lately it seems to me that no matter what I say or how I say it, I offend someone, hurt their feelings or just plain tick them off. I use to keep everything inside and just let it go, but that just makes the situation stressful and makes me sick in the long run. Now days, I don't let those things stay inside. I can't hide how I feel about a situation or a problem. I try to address it with the individual but if the individual is not receptive, I just write it all down and let it go.

Today, I was told I was a bitter person. Isn't it funny how when something hurts some a person's feelings or hits too close to home truth wise, the person that made the remark is in the wrong. I guess that is just the way things turn out sometimes. Never in my life have I purposely set out to hurt someone, but I've been told countless times, how rude, abrupt and what a bitter person I was. I've apologized my whole life for hurting people's feelings when it was the truth. I'm really tired of apologizing and asking people to forgive me for things that are spoken from the heart. Some days it is to the point, where I don't want to be around any people or talk to anyone. If I had my way, I would move to the far reaches of the country and never interface with humans again.

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