by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: March 31, 2009

Marriage is one of the greatest commitments you will ever make. It can be the happiest decision or it can be the one that will cause you the most heartache. Regardless, it is a choice and it is a promise. The thing that most people who end up in divorce court at the end of a bitter struggle is that not only was the decision to marry a choice, but the decision to allow that marriage to fall apart was, as well. Amazing marriages don't just happen on their own, they take work and commitment.

Love is more than simply a warm, fuzzy emotion you feel in the splendor of a new relationship. Once real life sets in, that is when real love has the opportunity to grow. Adversity can bind two hearts together and build a history that is irreplaceable. Marriage isn't all sunshine and fun, but it is all worth something. It is in the tough times that trust is born. These are the times that assure you that your partner is in it with you for the long haul, that they aren't going to run the first time they realize that you aren't a perfect person.

When you got married, you may have had certain expectations of what was ahead for the two of you. Usually, those expectations aren't met in full. At some point, they all fly out the window and you have to realize at that moment that marriage is a vow not to only be there through the good, but the bad as well. You won't be happy every day, you may have some days that leave you wondering what in the world you were thinking. Don't give up, though. You promised to stick around for these days, so do it! Keep your word and work through it.

Of course, if you are in any danger, this is a different matter entirely. Cases of abuse are not just unhappy, they are criminal and fully unacceptable. You must leave in order to save yourself and you are certainly not breaking your word in that case. There are exceptions to every rule and this is one of them. Do not allow your spouse to deceive you into thinking that you should stay under any circumstances.

Aside from that, though, you must make the decision to stay married. Get some counseling to help you through. Decide that you are going to take the first step toward marital happiness. It really can be as simple as that. It may not sound possible, but I assure you from personal experience that it is. My husband and I went through a time where we subconsciously decided that we "fell out of love" and after a terrible year, we consciously decided to fall back into it and sure enough, we did. Love is more than a feeling, it is an action. When you carry out the action of love, the feelings are bound to follow.

Learn more about this author, Victoria Tiegert.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.