by Melissa Jerez

Created on: March 31, 2009

The saying goes like this: "Honesty is the best policy" and while many people are quick to rebut it, the saying rings some truth. It's important to be honest in a relationship because without honesty there is no trust. You wouldn't trust a partner who would constantly lie to you or hide things from you. People have found it easier to trust someone who is always usually honest with them, whether good honest opinions or bad honest opinions. It can be extremely hard to be honest in a relationship. We're all afraid of what our partners might think of us if we told them the truth. Most of the things we don't want to reveal about ourselves will come out anyway, especially if you're in a relationship with someone you really like.

These reveals can work in both ways: negative and positive. For example, a negative reveal could be cheating on your partner. Regardless of whether or not you want them to know, your partner will find out eventually. Your mannerisms can reveal everything and in most cases, partners who find out their significant other is cheating on them behind their back are quick to turn their back on them. An example of a positive reveal is the revealing of something that either bothers you (it can be anything specific) or some secret that you think is shameful. In negative reveals, if you are at least honest with your partners and reveal your disloyalty or some kind of behavior that bothers you, they are more likely to listen and forgive. With positive reveals, you open up to that person and are able to find some sense of clarity. This can especially ring true when you admit an insecurity or past abuse.

The reason why people are so quick to lie and hide things from their partners is because of judgement. We don't want to be judged or rejected or thought of in a bad way. It makes sense why, in a relationship, we try to hold ourselves up to a standard that we think our partner finds admirable. You want your partner to think of you in a good light, because if they thought of you in a bad light then they wouldn't love you as much. While this can be true, it doesn't mean that it is necessarily. Good relationships are ones that have room for criticism. It doesn't mean that your partner is constantly hagging at you, it just means that they care enough to let you know when your behavior might seem "out of control". It's not harassment, unless they're yelling at you and trying to harm you. In most cases, they don't mean to harm, they're concerned. One way to notice the difference is the way your partner talks to you. If they are calm and collective, then they're concerned. If they yell and constantly try to hurt you, then they're frustrated.

A good partner knows when to be calm and collective when addressing honest opinions, because nobody wants to hurt their loved ones, they just want to give them good advice. Honesty is important in a relationship, but so is manner. So if you're able to be honest with your loved one, and be calm about it, then there would be less arguments and misunderstandings.

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