by JLN

Created on: March 30, 2009   Last Updated: April 07, 2009

After a great deal of procrastination, one failed exam, and so many lessons that my friends began to suspect that I was training to become a fighter pilot, I finally passed my test driving test. I spent the following few weeks persuading my mum that now would a great time for her to buy that sporty mini she had always wanted, and that I would be perfectly willing to relieve her of her current vehicle should she choose to do so. Eventually she gave in to my less than subtle pestering and I soon found myself the proud owner of an ageing Vauxhall Corsa, which I lovingly named Betty. Of course there is only so much credibility one can have in a faintly purple hatchback, with rust trim and no hub caps, so I proceeded to vainly attempt to pimp my ride. As all hardened middle-class Corsa drivering teenagers know, no car pimping is complete without a patently over the top stereo system. So after having added my electric blue seat covers (kindly donated to me by my friends as a birthday present) and my faux alloy wheel hub caps (all four of which fell off after three days, one hitting a rather confused looking dog as it did so) I busied myself adding the most expensive set of speakers that I could afford. Sadly my part time job at Waitrose was not paying dividends, and so ended up buying an amplifier from ebay, an unnecessarily large subwoofer from a place called 'Ice World' (an enormous box that has rendered my boot all but useless), some budget speakers from Halfords and the cheapest CD player I could find. At the time neither I, nor any of the friends I had conscripted in to help me install this monstrosity, new a thing about either cars or wiring. So after the best part of a day we had managed to permanently damage the restraining bolt that held the old tape deck in place, meaning the new stereo sat about two centimetres forward of where it should, proudly highlighting to any passing thief's desperate enough to try and nick the thing that removal of said stereo would not prove a time consuming or particularly taxing task. We also nearly managed to electrocute my friend Chris as we connected the power cables to the battery, if I learnt anything that day it was this - Never attach the live wire of a stereo system to the battery without first removing the fuse. Minor scalds and irreparable bodywork damage aside the installation was a resounding success (as long as you ignor the fact that I had to ask any passengers to be very careful when exiting the vehicle, lest

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