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Ten cocktails to avoid

by Ogelthorpe Q. Sighvatson

Created on: March 30, 2009   Last Updated: March 31, 2009

There are any number of reasons to avoid certain specific cocktails. These range from awful taste to dangerous potency with many other pitfalls in between. The following list of 10 is a basic guide that will help spare you from some of the worst of the worst.

1. Mystery Punch

This one tops the list though it goes by many many names. It is ultimately any cocktail provided by someone you do not know and/or trust where the ingredients are not openly disclosed.

Always ask what is in the beverage you are being presented. "Good Stuff" "Just Try It" and "Trust Me" are all unacceptable responses to this reasonable request.

2. The Cement Mixer

This is a classic 21st Birthday or dare shot. Irish Cream and a citrus element (generally fresh squeezed lime juice) are placed in a shot glass for your rapid consumption.

Do you like the idea of slightly boozy yogurt curdling in your mouth? Then stay away from this abomination.

3. (A Second (or third)) Long Island Ice Tea

What's that you say? How could I malign this wonderful concoction? Note the parentheses. It is not that the Long Island Ice Tea is to be avoided at all cost. One must simply be careful and respectful of it's mysterious powers.

When mixed well, the LIT (as it is known) tastes very much like it's boozeless counterpart. Do not be fooled. A blend of Vodka, Rum, Gin, Triple Sec and Tequila with just enough sour mix and cola to make the magic happen is mostly alcohol. Tread with caution.

4. The JaegerBomb

Jaegermeister (the dangers of which could be documented in their own article) and Red Bull. Surprisingly drinkable and weirdly potent with the stimulant effect of the Red Bull teaming up with the weird herbal properties of the Jaeger. Irresponsible karaoke may ensue. Not that I would know. I'm just saying.

5. Dubious Home Brews

a) Home Brews are like home cooking only with greater pride on the part of the creator and greater risk of it being completely screwed up. Some are absolutely magical; others will strain the bonds of courtesy and friendship.

b) Fermentation and Distillation (the primary means by which one creates alcohol) are delicate processes require meticulous attention to detail and a very sterile environment.

Anything from beer to moonshine to (shudder) homemade "absinthe" can carry spectacularly dangerous properties that will land you in a hospital. Like the Mystery Punch homemade libations should only be accepted from trusted sources.

6. Beer and Clamato

Clamato is a tomato juice beverage enhanced with clam juice and

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