by Daniel Onyango

Created on: March 29, 2009   Last Updated: March 30, 2009

There are traditional family gender roles that have worked well for both men and women for eons. In some of these roles, the male and the female are by their physical and emotional make-up, naturally well suited. The most important of these functions is child-bearing by a woman. Because she carries a baby in her womb for 36 weeks, the bond between mother and child lingers much longer beyond the womb. This role of breastfeeding, nurturing and looking after a baby until it is weaned, belongs only to the mother and not the father. The father creates a stable loving support and complements the mother's central position as the maker of the home.

Although economic and social realities of our time have curtailed the nurturing role of mothers, and men forced to take up functions they are ill-suited for, the rise in crime rates and anti-social behavior in our society today are indicative of the break-up of the family fabric. A warm stable home environment is crucial to the well-being and healthy development of children. If this lacks, children will react accordingly. We have swapped the parental love with the pursuit for material needs. This has resulted to the emotional vacuum in the lives of children now filled by anti-social behavior, which is their way of crying for attention.

A lot has been said about equal opportunities for men and women in career and professional pursuits, of the need to change the traditional roles played by mothers and fathers. Ideally the mother created the suitable home environment for the children and family to thrive, while the father supported them by providing the material needs. Though these roles have evolved with time, even the most die-hard professional woman at some point find it hard to resist the maternal instincts urging her to procreate, cuddle and hold a baby to her bosom. This is the way she was created.

It is acknowledged that many men had abused the privilege that the designer of life had bestowed on them and became lords rather than family guardians. However, this is not enough reason to swing the pendulum far to the left by creating female tyrants. Both male and female should lead productive lives; some women are endowed with special skills that their societies require. What needs to be done are a creation of safeguards that work well for the welfare of families.

Indeed most governments have created laws- the nine months paid maternity leave for working women in European countries- to help women look after their babies until they are able to be independent. It is now acknowledged by psychologists that the family unit makes the most important contribution to the well-being of any individual. Employers also know that a stable home life makes an employee more productive, hence the need for enabling them to look after their families.

The traditional belief that a professional career woman must sacrifice her family life until her mid-life is a violation of her human rights. On the other hand, cultural norms that drove men to work like zombies to help support their growing families only creates highly stressed men prone to drink and drugs.

A middle ground can be worked out which acknowledges the values of the traditional roles played by both men and women. Governments and employers ought to create enabling laws and safeguards for working families. This way, children will grow and develop to full maturity, and into well-balanced individuals that posterity will depend on.

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