by Jonas Stewart

Created on: March 28, 2009

The benefits of having your ex-lover as a friend

Well, first of all, this depends of the situation they're in. Let's say the relationship was a very positive experience, and when the time came to say goodbye, both did this in a very amicable and nice way. Everybody know you don't have to fight when you break up; sometimes you just know that the time has come to live on...but still, your ex-partner can be a very dear friend to you.

The other way around, of course, the sun isn't shining so much. If the breaking up was the crowning of a relationship which, in the end, never was anything else than a big fiasco, it is very understandable that both people want, at least for the time being, have some distance to each other.

So generally, both the options are possible and understandable. But there are more arguments in favor of a good friendship after a relationship:

1)If you really had a deep connection with your lover, he or she knows many things about you and understands how you feel. You have told each other many things and know each other well. How many of those friends have you got? Real friends who you can count upon and who you trust are very rare, so keep those good ones you got!

2)As you were in a relationship, you're very likely to have some common interests. Swimming, a common restaurant or just the same class at school: Many different places and events link you two, and if you choose to not speak to each other anymore after you broke up, you sure will have a hard time getting along in everyday life. It is not only uncomfortable to meet somebody you don't want to speak to and who makes you ill at ease, it is downright cruel knowing that you see somebody often and can't talk to him any more, especially knowing that that person knows you perfectly well: Could he or she talk about you to other people because you don't speak to him/her anymore?

3)An ex-lover can be a great and unique addition to your contacts: Not only does he understand you but you can also trust him with sex discussions and other intimate topics which you would never talk with a normal friend about, because he or she already knows how you "look" and how you "do it", so she/he can give you valuable and honest information on how to get on with your life!

Still, one thing is for sure: If one was really in love, one cannot start talking to each other as if nothing had ever been the day after. You have to get some distance first, and then start approaching your ex-lover again. But do try it! It's something no one should miss!

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