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next to them a positive way of looking at the same situation. Here are some classic examples.

*The weather is rainy and miserable.
*The weather is feeding my garden saving me work.

*He tells lies and I cannot trust him.
*I don't tell lies and can be trusted.

By replacing negative thoughts with positive ones, although this starts off as a game, it is actually proven to work. Do it often enough, and it turns into the way you think. Imagine a little light on the top of someone's head every time they lie to you. You have no control over what other people do, though the imaginary light flickering above the head of an idiot who chooses to lie makes it amusing rather than negative. It really is their problem that they tell lies. Don't let it get you down because it isn't you telling them, and you should be content that you have sufficient sense to see the difference and hope they will grow into being able to live with truth instead of lies.

Having a broader mindset.

When people upset you, they don't do it intentionally to hurt you. People don't wake up in the morning and say "Let's upset and disappoint someone else". What happens is that people often hide behind a facade simply because they have inadequacies themselves and hiding behind them is easier than coping with them. Open your mind to seeing further than the obvious, and it makes you a much more philosophical, thoughtful and positive person.

Laughing at life and seeing it from another perspective.

Many situations which make us negative are controllable. Maybe you are overweight, underweight, too tall, too short or some attribute of who you are makes you unhappy. Balance that against how others look and try to observe a little more. No-one is perfect. We all strive for better things, but instead of wallowing about who you are, accept that you have imperfections. The frown lines last longer than laughter ones, and the sooner you learn to be happier, the sooner that face in the mirror will beam back positivity.

Losing the negative person inside.

It's actually easier to lose negativity than you think. All that is needed is to face your problems head on. If you don't like the people around you, change who you mix with. If you don't like your home, find ways to make it a happier place. No matter what your budget or what your situation, there are ways to make things better, though these can only be found if looked for. Miserable and negative people don't look for solutions, preferring to wallow in negativity. Do you know that many unhappy people who are negative repulse friendship rather than encourage it? If you look at all the people you know who have friendship and warmth in their lives, these are people who learned to balance good with bad, and keep friendships because they have something positive to give to those friendships.

When you find positivity so do other people around you. That flower emerges and people begin to give you back positivity and friendship. That's when you know you did something right, and practice and patience will show you reflected in the eyes of friends that you are learning and growing, and in the process, becoming more whole.

Learn more about this author, Rachelle de Bretagne.
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