by Silkbutterfli

Created on: March 28, 2009

I have written on this subject several times in the past because, my middle daughter is gay. I have accepted it and her life partner. She and I have discussed the issues that being a gay couple have to face in order to be together. There are many, many people who think that being gay, they can be cured. That is just not so. A gay couple is no different than any other couple. They are committed to each other, they love each other and want to spend their lives together. That doesn't make them different, it makes them the same as a heterosexual couple.

Why shouldn't a gay couple have the same rights? They have jobs, they pay taxes, they grocery shop, and do everything else, just like any other couple. They have health issues as well. No, at this time, they can't be legally married, unless they live in one of two states. The issue has been raised about civil unions, which would go a long way in helping them obtain the rights and benefits of being married, without it being a legal marriage in the eyes of a court.

Most couples want to be able to provide health insurance to their partner, whether they are gay or not. Years ago, people who didn't want to be legally married, but had lived together for a specific number of years were considered married by common law. That made them no less married in their eyes, and even in some courts, they were considered married and were allowed to be put on wills, insurance, houses, etc., just like a legally married person would. Couples, man and woman, can put their live-in partner on their insurance if they pay the premium, why can't a gay couple? Because they are gay it becomes wrong? That is garbage and unfair.

I am currently working as an intern for the state in a workforce/assistance area. Recently, two young women came in. The one, applied for assistance because she is mentally disabled and unable to work. The other young lady was there with her and has been trying to help support her and take care of her needs, but couldn't do it alone anymore. Everything about them, reminded me of my daughter and her partner. I made no suggestion that they may be gay, but I was pretty sure they were. The sad part of this whole situation was, they felt that they had to hide who they were to each other in order for the one girl to get the help she needed. There was no food in the house, and they were desperate enough to give it a shot. She got approved, for the first time in over three years of asking for help. How? She had to lie about who she was and who her partner was to do it. They were allowed to be roommates but not partners. They asked how I knew, I told them about my daughter. My daughter had gone through the same problems herself. I gave them other referrals to help them get some help so that they could simply survive.

To many gay couples, being allowed to be who they are, and most don't shout it from the top of the buildings, is more important than anything. They are proud of their partners and ask only to be allowed to show it in the same ways a straight couple does. Being able to provide the basic necessities of life, a home, food, insurance, and a normal life. Being allowed to have the same rights and benefits as everyone else, that shouldn't be a fight, but a right.

Basic rights and benefits is a right not a privilege and being gay should not stop that from being the right thing to do. Even if we don't legalize gay marriages, at least give them the right to basic rights and benefits afforded everyone else. It used to be being a single mother was a major issue and that is widely accepted now. There are just as many gay couples out there as there are single parents. Single parents have basic rights and benefits now, so should a gay couple.

Learn more about this author, Silkbutterfli.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.