by Leeann Heffernan

Created on: March 27, 2009

Break-Up Survival Guide.

Hearing those four words 'we need to talk' is enough to make anyone crazy. You always jump to conclusions and think the worst. Don't you hate the excuses your significant other gives you? ' I need to spend more time alone, it's not you, it's me'... and at that very moment it doesn't matter what the reason is. You instantly blame yourself; 'I smothered him/her too much, I yell too much, I spend too much time at the office..' No break-up is ever easy no matter what anyone says. It hurts and it takes time to heal. You basically have to change your lifestyle after it's done. You aren't going to see that person everyday anymore. You don't have to ask if it's okay to go out with your girlys/boys. You are 100% on your own now, and that is what scares you. You don't feel the security you used to, even if it was a bad relationship. You may feel like your world is crashing down. But is it really? Did you really depend on that person that much that life will not go on? Life does go on, trust me. But you do need time. Time heals everything, but the less time the better.

No matter what your friends tell you, don't try and bump into him/her at obvious places. You need to make sure you don't run into him/her on purpose. You need to face the fact that you guys are history and no longer have a future. Don't let the other person know that you are grieving, you don't want them to feel sorry for you and you don't want to look pathetic. Sure feelings are natural, but lets keep that limited you and your friends. You need to go out, keep busy. Go to the gym so that when you do see him/her on accident they can't help but notice you. And never allow yourself to say their name anymore. Always refer to your ex as 'him/her or it.' (also you want to get used to not saying their name so you never call another boyfriend or girlfriend by their name!) Go into your room and take down and throw out anything that reminds you of this person. Wash your bedding so their scent isn't even around anymore. Don't even go to the restaurant you two were regulars at. Start over.

Start a new routine. Call up an old friend and have lunch, or spend more time with your family. Take more classes at the gym and volunteer more at work so you can get that promotion. Start watching a t.v series alone, or with a friend. But don't spend too much time with one person, randomize the pattern. Try not to spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself. Don't call, text or email them. Absolutely don't show up at their place and ask them to go for a walk. Let them come to you. Eventually they will get bothered that you haven't shown any sign of remorse after they broke up with you and they will contact you, wondering what you have been up to (aka are you seeing anyone so soon?) just let them know you are so busy but you will have to catch up with them another time. And leave it at that. Don't get too personal, don't let them know anything you are doing; LEAVE THEM GUESSING. You are probably thinking that it sounds like a game. But isn't it? You do certain things so they can feel as bad as you did at one point, and I know you probably think it sounds wrong and unmoral. Just wait until you are in that situation, and you will bring on the games.

Learn more about this author, Leeann Heffernan.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.