by Dawn Hawkins

Created on: March 27, 2009   Last Updated: March 04, 2011

We are often told that we should move on with our lives when something goes wrong. This isn't always the easiest thing to do. Putting ourselves in the position of trying to forget the past is a ridiculous idea that comes from those that have no idea how to truly deal with it. There is a reason why we dwell on the past. In fact, there are many reasons that we hang on to things that no longer exist in our lives.

Our Past is Part of Us

The main reason that people hang on to the past is quite simple. Those things and people from days long gone are what makes us the people we are today. Without the events that occur in our lives, we would not be the same. Whether those things brought us strength through pain or whether they taught us some other lesson, we are who we are because of those events and people.

Try to imagine how your life would be different if you had not gone through the heartaches that you have. Can you truly say that these situations have not made a difference in how you proceed to live life today? Emotional scars can teach us lessons that are very valuable in our futures. The past gives our future path a flashlight so that the road isn't quite so dark.

Fear of Change

People often dwell on the past because they are afraid of change. Change can be a scary thing, especially when it's huge. Many people fear change so much that they stay trapped in their past. It may be hope for a change that makes everything stay the same. An example of this would be a couple who is about to part ways. One person doesn't want to break up so they hope that the other person will change their minds about it. This is usually wishful thinking on the part of the person who won't let go. Many times it is simply fear that we will not find anything better in our lives. It could also be attributed to the fear of having to make it on our own.

The Good Stuff

Our pasts hold all the good stuff with the bad stuff. Dwelling on the past is simply holding on to the good things that have happened. These things give us a warm, fuzzy feeling when we are down. It is like a warm down comforter on a cold winters night. We sometimes long for those past memories to be alive again. Even if it only last for a few hours, wouldn't it be wonderful for an old person to be young again? The fact is that they can. They only need to hold on to the past a little bit and they can take that trip in their minds anytime they wish.

Dwelling on the past can be unhealthy if taken to the extreme. There are great things about it as well. Letting go of harsh feelings from the past is essential at times. We must move on into our future. Even when we do, we carry the past around with us as though it were a badge of honor. In some ways it is a badge and should be worn proudly. Without our past we have nothing to build our future on.

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