by Rachel Mcclain

Created on: March 26, 2009

Since without Dad's help, Mom wouldn't even be in labor, right? But, it's easy for him to feel essentially useless while Mama writhes away in agony and screams obscenities at him. And, long gone are the days of good old Pop sitting in the waiting room, wringing his hands in worry, waiting for the moment when he can break out the cigars to pass around. Still, there are ways for Daddy-to-be to make himself useful on the big delivery day.

Useful Daddy Tip #1: Pack Mule

Don't forget a single thing that your mom-to-be needs for the hospital. That means making sure she's packed and ready to go at least a few weeks before the big due date. Make sure she's got spare toiletries, comfy pajamas, slippers, anything that you know your soon-to-be-mommy will need to be comfortable and of course, don't let her schlep a single ounce of that stuff into the hospital when she's in labor; not her purse, not her insurance card, nothing. Help her know to know that you are involved in this small way.

Useful Daddy Tip #2: Be the Bully

Sometimes doctors and nurses can be overwhelming, asking too many questions, poking and prodding a bit too much, interrupting her when she is finally getting some much needed rest between contractions and pressing for tests or intervention that she may not want. She's not necessarily in a condition to argue. Make sure you know what she wants and needs and be her advocate. Push for her wants and needs. Be informed about her plans and make sure the doctors are on the same page, even if that means rubbing some of the staff the wrong way.

Useful Daddy Tip #3: Be a Gofer

Does she need more ice chips? More pillows? A clean blanket? Is the thermostat set just right? Maybe you should run out and pick up another magazine because she's already finished the three you brought. Get the picture? Yep, you sure wish you could take the pain away or do some pushing for her to take the pressure off of her; but the best you can do is every other miniscule thing she asks, no matter how small.

Useful Daddy Tip #4: Forgive and Forget

If you remember only one thing from your mommy-to-be's entire labor experience, remember this: forget every ugly thing she may say. She is going to be in a lot of pain and she may say very unpleasant things to or about you. Be her punching bag if she needs you to be and just let it go the minute it's out of her mouth. She needs you to be that sounding board right now so that she can release the endorphins and pain in her system. When it's all said and done, you may or may not get an apology. Get over it. She just went through heck and back to give your family an enormous gift.

Useful Daddy Tip #5: Thank Her

When you are both beaming at your new addition, it's easy to forget what just went into producing that soft, squishy face. Minutes after labor ends, the pain fades and the screaming is forgotten. A few hours, or days later though, Mommy begins recounting her "labor story" to friends and family and gets an inkling of how much it really did hurt and while she appreciates how much it was all worth it, it doesn't hurt to be thanked by the man who was there for it all and who really appreciates it most of all too; that's you. You can thank her sweetly with your kind words and a quick peck, or give her a small gift.

Your mommy-to-be needs you, despite what you may think when she's screaming at you or what you feel about being there when you imagine the bloody mess of delivery. Being there for the birth of your child is one of the most beautiful and powerful experiences of your life and you will be grateful for any part you can play in it.

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