by Del Lobo

Created on: March 26, 2009

Everyone of us has a story to tell. When we converse with people, we generally tell a story. It could be about someone, something or somewhere but nevertheless, it's a story waiting in our minds, waiting to spill like an overflowing purse. When it does spill, there are surprises not only to ourselves but to others. Once, a new friend asked me a question about my family. It was a simple question but I decided to tell her about an uncle who was a hit at parties. When I was young, I didn't know he was a show-off and an alcoholic. What I did know is that he made people laugh. I didn't see the discomfort and shame on the face of his wife, my aunt. I didn't see my cousins flinch when their father told jokes that were perhaps out of place at a family gathering. All I remember is that he was a fun guy.

Imagine my surpirise when I began telling the story about my Uncle to this new friend, my adult mind began sifting and sorting through information that I should tell and by the end of the story, I realized that I had made up half of the story. I made my uncle look like a hero at the party. Still, I managed to weave in the fact that his wife and children were quite embarrassed and how it turned out that he played the fool when he was hurting the most. I threw in some fiction about his wife threatening to leave him which never really happened. I brought in a 'saving grace' character like a Roman Catholic priest who managed to talk my uncle into getting help. This story that I told my friend wound up having more characters than the real story. By weaving in some fictional characters, I made my story interesting and fun. I took the edge of the way my Aunt and her children struggled for many years before my Uncle sobered up.

Later, when I thought about it, what I had done is created a short story about a man with an addiction who was totally oblivious to the fact that he had a problem. His family and friends struggled with the chore of getting him sobered up. Their struggle wound up being a worthwhile cause because the man rose above his problem and there was resolution.

So, what is the benefit of this exercise? Okay, our stories are sometimes clouded by thoughts or memories we wish to forget. By creating characters, scenes and plots that are fictional, we can transform something ugly into something quite beautiful. I think that this is a great benefit and even a therapy if you want to call it that. Out of the deep recesses of my mind, have come many wonderful stories which began from a thought or memory that I may have been trying to forget. By transforming those thoughts and memories, I have learned to be forgiving and compassionate. I hope this works for you.

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