by Don Haslett

Created on: March 26, 2009

The New Eden Estates

1221 Flat Earth Boulevard, Darwin Lied, Arkansas

March 25, 2009

Darnell Blitzen

2012 East Tenth Street

New York, NY 10003

Dear Dr. Blitzen:

Take a look at some propaganda that was recently published in a major New York City newspaper. If you scoff and roll your eyes, like any self respecting, right-thinking man might do then join the club! Can you believe this claptrap is being read and treated like Gospel by all your neighbors in New York City? ".. a 50-50 chance the North Pole will be ice-free for the first time in recorded history." What an outrageous claim for those Greens' to make, and without proof too!

For all we know, when the good Lord created the Earth 5,768 years ago, the North Pole might have been a warm and inviting spot. With Armageddon growing closer with each passing day we might consider that the Lord is simply putting things right, which is to say back to how it was when he first made the place almost 6,000 years ago.

Dr. Blitzen, we know that the newspapers are filled with tree-hugging bunkum but then again maybe a wise man like you might want to hedge a little bit and pick up one of our special homes in the hills, far from any coastline. We have a beautiful private community with 12,000 near-wild acres in the Ozarks and we'd like you to come on down and visit for a spell and take a good look at your future. We think that you're going to love the self-sufficient mountain lifestyle. At the New Eden Estates we are proud to offer 2 bedroom condominium homes situated on hillsides nestled among the hickory and the pines. If you need more space, (or your ancestors already came down from the trees), why not take a look at our spacious network of beautifully finished limestone caverns and caves. You can't find a better vacation spot and with their natural climate controlled temperatures, these homes are the perfect place to store several months of non-perishable food. Throw a few branches into the copper lined fire pits and pull up a log to sit on, for this is country living at its finest!

The hills down here are just bursting with critters so your table and your bellies will never go empty. And watch out for the fish, (none with vestigial legs) because they almost jump right into the boats here!

So neighbor, or at least that's what we'll be calling you once you settle in down here, we hope to see ya real soon. C'mon down, ya hear?

Cooter P. Butler

Sr. Vice-President of Marketing & Sales

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