by kieryn graham

Created on: March 26, 2009

I understand how your little affair was "just a mistake." Let me help you understand it, too.

Of course, your little dalliance with your pet slut was "just" a mistake, but let me help you understand the consequences and ramifications of your mistake. In education, we say a "mistake" creates an opportunity for new learning, so we will treat this little discussion as a "teachable moment." You need not take notes, but you probably should expect a test on this material.

First, sweetheart, you cheated on ME with her. I objectively have evaluated her assets, and I don't see a whole lot there. She is not nearly as cute as I, so you miscalculated there. Not by any means will she ever match my intelligence, intuition, and insight, so you failed properly to judge the depth there. I concede that her boobs are bigger than mine; but most of her outweighs, out-measures, and super-sizes me. You may have miscalculated the safety hazard, sweetie, because I fear she could have crushed you; did you wear your personal protective equipment? She hasn't mothered any of your children yet, has she? So you may have missed a value judgment there. I'm sorry, darling, but your math just doesn't seem to add-up.

Still, it's just a mistake.

Second, we probably should take a long, hard, analytic look at what this "just a mistake" says about your respect and esteem for me.
Oh, no, I know you certainly never meant it that way; you never meant it that way, because you never bothered to think about it. That oversight might have been a mistake, don't you think? I feel very fortunate that I know my own value in this world and out there on the singles market. I don't need to test it. I wonder what made you feel compelled to shop around? What made you think you so totally and completely could disrespect me?
What made you take me so completely for granted? And, really the most insulting among the many insults: what ever made you think I was so stupid or so oblivious I wouldn't notice or wouldn't care? Even your dog knows you've been cheating, and he feels disrespected and disappointed, too.

Still, I absolutely understand your affair was "just a mistake."

I'm sure that, just as I did, your teen-age daughter, who used to worship you, will understand all those claims about "working late" weren't really lies. They were simple factual errors. You simply confused your geography, mistaking her house for your office; and you simply confused your kinesiology facts, mistaking sex for work. Although from where I stand,

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