by Catherine Perez

Created on: March 26, 2009   Last Updated: March 28, 2009

My aim here, is not to scare you away by telling you some kind of horror stories on delivering baby. I am only trying to give you an objective and impartial account of what to expect. Even though pregnancy books and doctors discuss at length the technicality of delivering a baby, they do not expand on the ugly details. It infuriates me. Why can't they tell us what is going to happen to our body, don't you think we deserve to know? I cannot count how many times I heard the following lame excuse: " I didn't want to scare you off, it wasn't so terrible after all". What? Are you kidding me, have you tried lately to push a watermelon through your vagina? I give you no big deal! And let me tell you something else the pain is not the only thing you have to be worry about. Noooooo, that would too easy. So here, let me guide you through the ugly bits no one dares mention. I don't care what the reasons are, I think it's just plain wrong.

Enough with the blue ribbon surrounding pregnancy and delivery. We know that having a baby is absolutely wonderful: we're the one pregnant remember. But we want to know what is going to happen to us when adorable baby decides to show up. Seriously I wish someone had told me when I had my first, I would have done a few things a bit differently. So, your first contraction starts. Ouch! Ok you think, I can handle this, I'm good. Wow it really hurts. To give you an idea imagine your worst period pain, multiply that by let's say a thousand and you have a clearer picture. First, let me tell you if you think your first contractions hurt, wait until the baby is really ready to pop out! Yep I know they don't tell you that, the pain gets worse. It's like having your whole being overcome by pain. There is no escaping it. It can be scary if you're not prepared.
Best thing to do at this stage is breathe through it. I know it might sound naff but it truly woks. Inhale and exhale slowly with the contraction. Let's be clear it does not make the pain go away, it just takes the edge off. I guess that by now you have called the hospital and inform the daddy that Junior is coming home.Little note on the side, do not expect guys to understand how you feel. Men do not have the ability in my opinion to empathize with women's pain, especially birth's pain. So if like my husband, he gets upset when you tell him to SHUT UP when he asks you if it hurts a lot, just ignore him. He'll come around later.

Once you're at the hospital, when a doctor or a nurse ask you if

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