by Melissa Jerez

Created on: March 26, 2009

We all remember what it was like when we first had that first, real relationship. Those moments we shared with our crushes felt amazing at the time: the first time we kissed them, held hands in public, etc. For some of us, we experience those same moments every day with a long-time partner, or someone we're just getting to know. For others, we'd rather not think about those moments and avoid them at any cost. The reason why some of us are reluctant to jump back into the relationship scene is because of all the negativity associated with being in a relationship. There's jealousy and paranoia, insecurities and doubt. There's the idea that we won't last forever, so what's the point? The point is that, no matter if your experiences with relationships were good or bad, we learn from them just how we learn from everything else.

Think about your first relationship, and what went wrong with it. If your first relationship was when you were a teenager, then you probably were confused about what to do or how to really act like a couple. My first relationship happened when I 12 years old. I, like most girls, were excited about finally being with someone who liked me just as much as I liked them. He wasn't my first kiss, but I was still nervous about kissing. In fact, I didn't even know how to kiss. I just pressed my lips against my then-boyfriend and figured that that was enough. One of the things that broke us apart was that he thought I was too clingy. I didn't understand what he meant by clingy, I just thought I was being a girlfriend. So he broke up with me and that was that. Since I didn't understand "clingy", I kept repeating that clingy-ness throughout the rest of my dating period. It wasn't until a few years ago when I turned 17, that I understood what my first boyfriend meant. I quickly changed my clingy attitude for a more relaxed one, and my relationships right after improved slightly.

I remember the first time I thought I was in love. I was 14, and I look back at it and I know now that what I felt back then wasn't love. It was infatuation. I can tell the difference now because of the maturity I went through with my other relationships. I realized that the idea I had of love back at 14 was shallow, while the love I know of at the age I am now, is much more mature. I was able to understand love because I went through the stages of it in my previous relationships. I grew out of infatuation, and began to see what love was really like. That's why it is important to have relationships. Relationships help you not only grow as a person, but in the mind. Relationships help you reflect on yourself and your actions, which helps you get to know yourself better and grow better.

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