by Carol Wise

Created on: March 26, 2009

While I am female, I am far from what is considered typical, so I am not sure if that makes me a better candidate to speak out on the subject of the new metro sexual male or the last person who should throw her 2 cents in.

I must admit I'm not sure why the term came about, why it was necessary or even who truly defines it. I first became aware of the term via the radio. The station I listened to had two DJ's, one older, both male and the younger was often teased about his less than masculine choices. He claimed he was metro sexual. From their banter, I understood he was not homosexual- he was married and had children, he just liked to take extra care of his personal appearance. From plucking or shaping his eyebrows, to using lotion and hair care products, to dressing with greater care and having a manicure.

I personally don't understand the desire to do most of this primping, that is generally attributed to females. I rarely wear make up, avoid dresses as if they were the plague and dress for comfort, not style or fashion.

Each person needs to make their own choices and do what they are comfortable with. I think the problem goes back to our pervasive, very tightly defined roles for men and women. We have made changes, become more tolerant or at least claim that we have, yet deep down we take issue with those changes. We haven't totally embraced the new roles and definitions for men and women.

While I prefer a more rugged look in males, I like beards, mustaches and other facial hair, not all women do. I like hairy chests, and graying along with the character lines that come with age. Other women may not want body hair or gray hair on their men, we all have our own preferences.

At times it seems we obsess on those things that make a man appear less masculine. We raise our eyebrows, if a man enjoys cooking unless its at the grill. Take a second look at the man who is a stay at home dad. Giggle at a man who moisturizes his skin. Even though not one of those things is an indicator of sexual preference. And why are we so concerned about his sexual preference?

I suspect that in the past men had little time to consider many of the "Metro-sexual" tendencies or behaviors. Their jobs didn't allow for it. Many jobs involved manual labor, where softened skin was neither practical or safe. As jobs have become more technical and skilled versus outdoors and physical, new doors of thought have opened for men, to take greater care of themselves and there's nothing wrong with that.

I just hope this is not just another way to avoid building character and to focus on external appearances. Too many people both male and female are obsessed with their looks, spending fortunes to look younger, to correct what they see as flaws, nipping and tucking endlessly.

That said, you, gentlemen who want to be metro-sexual, should feel free to make that choice. I will not fault you anymore then those women who feel they need to spend two hours putting on make up. Do what makes you comfortable and happy.

In the meantime my man and I will slip on our jeans and t-shirts and be good to go. I can assure you that there are women who will see you still very much a man and perhaps even more desirable because of your efforts.

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