by Lori Bloom

Created on: March 25, 2009

What do you do when your troubled pre-teen son no longer wants to live with his mother, stepfather, and two sisters? Family conseling hasn't worked, and his violent outbursts and tantrums have escalated. Do you allow him to go stay with grandma, who gives him whatever he wants, which has caused most of his behavior problems in the first place? Or do you travel 2000 miles away so he can meet his father for the first time and see what happens? (Not having a father in his life has contributed to his behavior problems also) This becomes an especially difficult situation if, when he meets his father, he decides he wants to stay. What is a mother to do, besides cry herself to sleep at night?

Being a devoted mother, I agreed to let him go live with his father, but I convinced my fiance into moving our whole family too. My son's father was supportive of our move and was thankful to finally have the chance to be a father. He and his friends helped find us a home to move to, twenty minutes away from him so we can be close, just in case he needs us. It was extremely scary to leave friends and family behind, but it was for a good cause, our family's happiness. I could not imagine allowing my son to move 2000 miles away from me.

My heart aches for him, because I'm not there to cuddle with him each morning to get up for school, I'm not there to cook him his favorite meal, or to help him with his homework. I talk to him on the phone about once a week and see him every couple of weeks. He's happy with his father, stepmom and 3 new brothers. Our family is happier too, because we were always arguing and fighting when we lived with each other. Sometimes what is best for the child is a chance to live with their other parent. It doesn't mean you don't love each other, it just means you can't live together.

I have hope and faith that if he realizes living with his father isn't exactly what he imagined, he will come back to us. But the important thing is his happiness. Seeing him smile because he finally has the father he has always wanted, helps my broken heart to heal. Maybe someday we'll be together again, maybe someday we will move back to the place we were born and raised. Living away from loved ones doesn't have to be forever. With today's technology, such as webcams, texting, and digital cameras, living away from loved ones doesn't have to mean you can't still see each other or talk to each other.

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