by Helen Gray

Created on: March 25, 2009   Last Updated: April 09, 2009

Your finances took a nose dive, and suddenly you're considering the unthinkable - moving back in with parents. Maybe you're out of a job or did the math and realized you'll never save enough for a home deposit. You are not alone. We're part of a growing phenomenon of "boomerang kids" who return to the nest over and over again. While I stopped home occasionally "between jobs" my twin brother spent years living with my parents. I couldn't stay long-term, but it was well worth it for my brother. At the same time that I was buying my first piece of real furniture (a $1000 couch), he was putting down a 20% deposit on his first house!

Already envisioning regular home cooked meals and clean laundry? The reality is likely to be different. The financial benefits of moving home make sense, but only if you can handle the potential death of your love life and social life, and a loss of privacy and other freedoms. Maybe you've started smoking, stopped going to church, gone vegan or started eating pork. If the phrase "Not under my roof," sounds familiar then you can be sure those same rules still apply.

Boomerang kids might be a growing phenomena but the social stigma of being a "loser who lives in their Mom's basement" still exists. Did you have a date last Friday night? How would that scene have played out if you'd actually convinced them to come back to your parent's place? Would you be sneaking them in the back door and out again? Or would you all be sitting down for coffee and bagels with Mom the next morning? Be prepared if your friends are a little more reluctant to visit too. It's harder to relax when they feel like they need to be on their best behavior around your parents. Can you imagine your last party happening in your parent's living room?

If your old bedroom has been turned into a shrine to your childhood, untouched since the day you left for college, prepare to be welcomed back with open arms and treated like a 15 year old. On the other hand, your parents may have relished the idea of becoming empty nesters. They love you, and would never let you starve on the streets, but that doesn't mean they want you back. If your bedroom is now the home gym you're going to be expected to pull your weight for the short term duration of your stay.

If you decide to move home my advice is to sit down with your parents, the same as you would with any new roommates, and have an adult-to-adult discussion. You need to set expectations on rent and bills; chores (especially if you can't afford to pay rent); shared meal times; house rules on smoking, drinking or bringing home members of the opposite sex; and the expected duration of your stay.

Moving back home isn't easy, but is worth it in the end. This is an opportunity to get to know and respect your parents as people, not just as Mom and Dad. You'll develop a closer knit family that you know can depend on in tough times.

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