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Money. Plain and simple, like it or not, teens usually do not have a good income, and money is very important. Babies are costly. Children in lower income families seldom have funding to get a higher education. Most people assume that teens with children will be living off welfare and do not consider this as an example of "good parenting".

Stability. Most people recall their own teenage years, and realize that they were very unstable at the time, taking risks such as hitchhiking, binge drinking, experimenting with drugs, and so forth. None of these behaviors lend themselves to good parenting. A teenager may still want to party, where as a "good parent" sacrifices some of their own needs to fulfill the needs of the child first.

Patience. Some teenagers have not learned patience. This is a skill people often do not acquire until into their twenties, or even thirties. It is very hard to be patient with a screaming baby, while you are trying to change its diapers, or to be patient with an frantic toddler who is throwing a temper tantrum.

Lack of Experience. Most people learn parenting skills by watching the mistakes of others. Except for some baby sitting experience, teens have not really been exposed to a multitude of situations involving children and parents. They have not seen too many examples of good parenting, or bad ones. It is not enough to love our children. Love does not make us a good parent. Knowing how to raise a child to be a better adult is what determines if we are a good parent or not. We can learn a lot of parenting skills simply by learning from others, and teens simply have not had enough years doing this.

Lack of Responsibility. The very fact that a teen got pregnant is a sign to most people that they are not responsible. Most people view teen pregnancies as "accidents", and if planned they view it as very immature. In either case they view teens who are pregnant as irresponsible, and fear for the children.

Selfish. Teens still tend to think the world revolves around them. Sometimes they keep the baby only because it is a play thing for them, something to love, and to love them back. Additionally it gets them attention, and most teens adore attention. In many cases one of the best acts of a teen being a good parent is when they recognize they are not the "best" parent for the child, and place it for adoption.

Defensive and They Know it All. To adults, most teens tend to behave as though they "know it all", they get defensive when they are criticized. This is accentuated when they become parents. In fact, most parents react harshly to criticism of their parenting skills, but teens even more so. A person who is defensive, rather than welcoming of help, is not always a good parent.

Final Thoughts...

The proof of if a person is, or was, a good parent, is not shown until their child has grown up, moved out, and has demonstrated they are a responsible person contributing to society. Does that person then harbor any well founded resentment towards their parents? It is all to easy for a person with a three year old to state they are a good parent. How do we really know?

Additionally it cannot be assumed that anyone who is not a teenager is going to be a good parent. I will stress something I said earlier, which is that one of the signs that somebody is a good parent is when they recognize that they are not fully ready to be a parent and give the child up for adoption, or simply do not have children at all.

Learn more about this author, Brenda Nelson.
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