by Lori Bloom

Created on: March 25, 2009

Once upon a time, I had a great job, owned my own home and a new truck. I was barely able to pay all of my bills, but I was successful in the eyes of others. I was 25 and my fiance and I decided to have a baby. What I didn't count on was him cheating on me. We broke up before I found out I was pregnant. I was horrified that I was pregnant and alone - that's not how things were supposed to be. Financially I could not do it alone, but I was ready to be a mother and had prayed for my baby. I tried to sell the house, to no avail. I filed for bankruptcy because I had accumulated so much debt. My fiance had made many promises, one was that if I charged this and that for him, he would pay the bills. Unfortunately this never happened. I tried to get help from WIC, but my income was $100 over the limit. I was pregnant and alone and could not afford to eat. I felt that "the system" was not there for independent women who didn't want to stay in unhealthy relationships. I felt penalized because I was being a responsible adult and working full-time, without a man's help.

Ten years later, after surviving two divorces, I was blessed with having two beautiful children, but I also suffered from depression. I had quit my "great" job to stay at home with my kids. I suddenly found myself kicked out on the street because my 2nd husband filed for a divorce because he was "in love" with my "best friend". I had to swallow what little pride I had left and apply for welfare. It was very humbling, to say the least. But I was thankful that I qualified for WIC and food stamps. I could finally go to a grocery store and "buy" delicious food.

When I was successful, i.e., had a great job, my babies were in daycare full time and half of my paycheck went to that expense. I was only bringing home $400 a month but did not qualify for any help. Now that I make $400 a month working part-time and don't have daycare costs, I receive food stamps and can afford groceries.

Imagine my disappointment when I told my grandmother I was pregnant with my third child and she reacted by saying, "Do you really think it is responsible to have a baby when you're on food stamps?" I love being a mother and feel that each one of my children is a gift from God. I deserve to be a mother even if I don't have a full-time job. My children are happy and get spoiled with material things from their grandparents. Some day, I will have a great job again, after I finish my business degree. I am thankful for food stamps and do not feel others should judge me because I receive them.

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