by Amanda Ballard

Created on: March 25, 2009   Last Updated: March 27, 2009

When I was a little girl my parents and I would be in church every Sunday morning and sometimes on Wednesdays too. When I was four we moved out of town and my dad took on a job managing a farm and after that we just didn't have time for church. I didn't step foot inside a church again until I was twenty-four and it was at a non-denominational church. I enjoyed the singing but the preaching just didn't reach me. I wasn't moved and never returned.

When I was growing up I'd often watch preachers on TV on Sunday morning and my mom and dad would talk to me about God and answer any questions I had about the Bible. My dad always told me he never needed a church to talk to God or to hear Him. He told me he could talk to God anywhere, at anytime, and I picked up on that. To me, God was shown through a beautiful spring day, a sunset, a rainbow after a storm in summer and I'd talk and pray whenever the mood hit me. Every time something bad happened I'd go for a long walk, stop in a quiet place and just talk to God. I never had the desire to return to church because I hated seeing hypocrites. People who were in church every Sunday yet as soon as those doors closed they changed. If they met you in town they never said hello and they didn't talk or act like Christians. I didn't want to be counted among those "Christians".

I don't think you have to go to church to be counted as a Christian. To be a Christian you should just do the best you can day by day, follow the ten commandments and live your life the best you can. I don't go to church because I also don't believe some of the teachings. I think it is wrong to say only the saved go to Heaven..if such a place exists because there are murderers and evil people sitting on death row who get saved before being put to death. Now if they go to heaven even after living a life of sin where they do unspeakable acts of murder and torture,etc then I really don't wish to spend my eternity next to those people. I had a tragedy in my family where my cousin and her family were murdered. The thought that their killers might go to heaven for what they did turns me away from any idea of heaven. Genuinely good people who die without being saved then are damned for Hell and that includes innocent babies who died before they were able to be saved and that doesn't sit well with me.

I try to live my life as a good person. I don't feel the need to join any church to talk to my God or feel like a Christian. I don't claim to be a Christian in any sense of the word but I do pray when I need guidance and I pray for others' health and well being.

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