by Kathryn Greenly

Created on: March 24, 2009

Living single and being a couple are things that every woman goes through. Both play an important part in our lives, but they each have their own time, before you can be a happy couple, you have to be happily single.As someone who has experienced the angst of feeling like you have to be in a relationship to fit in, I can understand the battle that unhappily single women go through; But what most of these women don't understand is that before you can be in a stable committed relationship with someone you first have to be in a relationship with yourself.

How would women ever know what they what in a man if not for the many bad dates they have to go through? But while dating is important, something more important is having a chance to become comfortable with yourself. How can someone become confident in themself, comfortable in their own skin if they didn't have the experience to grow within themselves and really get to know themselves? So many people find their identity in someone that they're in a relationship with, and when that relationship ends, they feel like they don't know themselves anymore; could it be that they never really did?

A stable and happy coupleship means that each person is secure enough with themselves so that if the relationship were to end they would still know themselves, and not feel the melodramatic sense of "my life has no meaning".

Being in a relationship definitely has it's time, after you become comfortable being with yourself. When you're young it is the time to have fun, live your life for you, and not worry about someone else, and what they think of you, or what they're doing, or wheather they really and truley love you. Many men have the right idea when they're young. They don't go steady with someone until they know they are ready to be in a relationship. That's not saying that many women don't have the same ideas but so many young people think that they must be in a relationship or face public defeat.

The time for being a couple is when each person is ready for the committment and for most people that isn't until after they have "played the feild" and discovered what they want in a partner and then spent some time single figuring out just who they are and what they really want. Not necessarily in that order either.

Being young means having fun, feeling carefree, and living your life, you shouldn't be tied down to someone carrying all of their baggage when you can't even handle your own.

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