by Rand E Oertle

Created on: March 24, 2009   Last Updated: March 06, 2010

Monster on My Desk

There's a monster that's lurking on top of my desk
This thing, I'm a tellin' ya, is really grotesque.
It's in my computer just waiting to strike.
Like a heartless old editor ready to spike.

Or a tight coiled rattler all tensed and all aimed
at leaving me thwarted and worse, all defamed.
It patiently pauses for just the right time.

It has no remorse for it's terrible crime.

I hit my keyboard and start click, click, click.
It knows when I'm there and boy is it slick.
It pauses not once while it plans my demise.
I can tell you this thing is ripe for despise.

So what is the name of this horrible thing.
You wouldn't expect the tears it does bring.
But the name of this thing is good ol' Spellcheck
Of my spelling this "helper" is making a wreck.

And how does this demon so dreadfully vex,
and suck us poor writers into it's vortex.
Here's what it's doing to me and to you.
Just ask it to spell that simple word "to."

Confident, you assume, that it spelled it quite true
But sadly discover that it should be spelled "too."
The ambush ain't over but again at your door,
when you presume to spell that easy word "your."

You spell it and check it you think it's just right
but discover again...now you're ready to fight.
The word you're trying to spell this time
It's "You're"... can't you tell, you detestable slime.

By now you can tell my blood pressure's rising
Because this monster I'm wholly despising.
So I'm asking you writers gallant and galore
How does a writer fight this monstrous war?

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