by Joan Huston

Created on: March 24, 2009   Last Updated: September 21, 2009

The recent economic downturn has seen a major shift in the lifestyles of people in their mid-twenties. We have left behind an era where parents become empty nesters when their children graduate high school or college. Adult children are beginning to return to live with their parents at ever increasing ages. It is not unusual to find young adults in their late twenties living in their childhood bedrooms under their parents' roof. This new trend brings about an entirely different set of trials and tribulations for parents and the adult children who live with them.

Adult children who return home after leaving home in pursuit of education or employment cannot avoid the need to make major adjustments to their lifestyles in order to survive living with their parents once again. The children lose much of the anonymity and independent decision-making afforded by their previous lifestyle. Adult children have been accustomed to making decisions for themselves that affect no one else and require no outside input. After moving home, they must realize that their decisions now have an effect on their entire household. Party plans, dating, and financial decisions once had singular involvement but are now being intruded upon by their parents.

The adult children are not the only ones who have a hard time adjusting to this lifestyle change. Many parents must relearn their role as a parent after realizing that they can't revert back to the role they held back when their child was a teenager. Curfews and taking the car keys away are a thing of the past, but parents still feel the need to parent. This causes strain when they try to over-parent the adult child that has moved home. This shifting of roles or lack of change in behavior can cause a lot of problems between the cohabitating parties.

The return home by an adult child can also be a restorative and pleasant experience at times. Having the ability to spend time with their parents on an adult level can lead to stronger relationships. Mature conversations are able to take place as parents begin to see and treat their child like the adult they are in actuality. The returning son or daughter has another chance to learn from their parents on an adult level and is also given the opportunity to give back to their parents in ways they were unable to as a child or teen.

The return of a child as an adult can bring joy to parents as they are able to rediscover their offspring that left home years ago. Parents will always feel a sense of pride regarding their children and are happy to be able to help them through an economic rough patch. For older parents, having a younger person in the house can also help to ease the burden of maintaining a property. An extra hand to help mow, fix appliances, or pet sit is a much-appreciated perk of having your child back at home.

Parents and their adult children must learn an entirely different paradigm for interacting with each other as adults under the same roof. It takes work and adjustment from both generations to have a successful return home of an adult child. In the end, all parties may come to realize that moving back home is sometime a necessary evil that isn't altogether that bad.

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