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Parenting is a full time job and a very difficult one at that. Unfortunately our children do not come with manuals so it is up to you as the parent to structure your home life so as to effectively guide your child through their growing years.

Assuming you work eight hours a day, and sleep another eight away, you need to make optimal use of the remaining time. This is, of course, over and above the time you need to spend on dinner preparation, laundry, soccer games and so on. Whew, it makes you tired just thinking about it.

Understand that your child has many of the same needs as you do. They will need love, attention, guidance and a safe environment. While no parent is perfect, there are a few basic steps you can take to make sure your child feels secure and loved.

Believe it or not, children actually require boundaries to help them develop normally. They also have a need to feel useful and the need for praise and self-satisfaction. To make use of family time more productively, develop small daily chores which are age appropriate for the children. Even a toddler can be taught to put his/her dirty clothes in the laundry hamper.

By facing household chores as a family unit, you will free up more time to spend with your child on things that are of interest or fun for him, as well as for yourself. Some great mother-daughter chats can be had over the washing and drying of dishes each evening. The same can be said for the father and son as they rake the lawn or tend to a minor appliance repair. Just for fun, mix it up a bit. The daughter rakes leaves with dad, and the son dries dishes with mom. There is no harm in bonding with your child as you work together on a household chore.

A great opportunity for open discussions can be the dinner hour when you are all gathered together. Try to spend a few minutes with each child on a one-on-one basis almost every day. Do not let your family life become a never ending battle of just trying to get through the day. Many times parents fail to keep up with their children on an emotional level due to over-scheduling. Your child should not need a day timer to keep track of after school activities, sporting events, skating lessons, and so on. They need some down time in the same way that adults do.

Very often the kids would rather be playing video games or watching television. There is nothing wrong with either of these activities in moderation. It is often tempting for parents to allow the kids these pursuits, if only to buy themselves some rest or free time. This does nothing to increase the parent-child bond however, and should be managed very carefully.

The childhood years pass very quickly; don't let them slip away from you. De-clutter both your mind and your home once in awhile. Slow down the hectic pace we are often faced with, and take time to appreciate each other on a more base level.

You do not need to keep up with the proverbially "Jones" to have a happy, healthy and well-adjusted family. Many of us would be far better off if we just slowed down and took a bit more time to enjoy life as it happens around us. Just being alive is not the same thing as really living life.

Learn more about this author, Melinda Barr.
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