by Jill Jacks

Created on: March 24, 2009   Last Updated: February 24, 2010

What is the saying about never being able to return home again? Well, tides are changing. Youth and parents alike are finding out  how untrue that is. For many moving out the first time is exhilarating. There were unexpected expenses like toilet paper and shampoo which crossed no one's mind other than mom, and who knew the landlord wouldn't understand those concert tickets were a chance of a lifetime?

Moving out has always had a learning curve. Most youth find themselves bending to meet it with the odd one not quite making it and finding himself/herself back on the old front porch. Today's learning curve isn't about realizing apartment washers and dryers require coins to operate. It is about fluctuating economies and job markets. In the past watching our children spread their wings, although frightening, was more a comedic performance. 

It's always tough slugging out on your own. There was eating macaroni for a week while waiting for payday, rinsing out underwear in the sink and going sockless when the change went to kd not laundry. Somehow that was okay. It was an adventure and independence was worn with pride.

It isn't about simple strategies anymore. Basic education doesn't cut it, at least not as paths for career and independence. High school education earns a minimum wage position if available. Competition's stiffer and it isn't about starting at the bottom of the ladder and working your way up anymore. It is now more uncommon than common for high school graduates to move out of the family home. Instead youth moves out in their mid twenties. Jobs aren't paying enough to cover rent and expenses.

Let's face it we didn't  give our unconditional love, time, and money to drop them from the nest before they could fly regardless of reaching the age of majority. Our children remain our children and their worries are our worries. It doesn't mean we want them living with us forever. It hasn't come to that, not yet.

Instead we need to focus priorities, working with our youth on a different level than we have before. If the job market demands more we must find ways to meet those demands. Our youth shouldn't live at home responsibility free. Pool resources when possible.

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