by Bella Of Chaos

Created on: March 24, 2009

I know more about abusive relationships than I have ever wanted to know in my life. I have to say that when you start dating the person they can be as normal as anyone. The really good ones are good at hiding it. I was 18 and working at Lowe's and started dating the guy in the receiving department. We dated for a about six months before we moved in together and during this time I didn't notice anything unusual or volatile. We were like any couple we fought, we laughed, we made up, and we enjoyed each other sarcasm.

About four months after we moved in together he was working two jobs and I was working three jobs. He was getting frustrated that we were practically killing ourselves trying to survive on our own. So we did this for about another three months and then he just one day decided he was going to go into the army and that would fix our financial issues. Funny thing is he gave me a week to decide if I was going to marry him. Through out this whole time I didn't see any change in him that was volatile. I guess the reason I'm saying this is because sometime the abusive behavior doesn't come out til later. So I said yes and we went to the Justice of the Peace and got married .. I called my family and let them know after I had already got married. Two weeks later he was shipped out four basic training.

He was at basic from the beginning of November until about a week before Christmas which he came home for the holidays. The first tip that something was wrong was that he seemed to be a lot meaner and had a shorter fuse. The one morning the alarm went off and I went to wake him up and he punched the wall right beside my head. Yeah that was the first tidbit of violence. I wrote it off as adjusting to being back home. The whole visit was tense and it was like he had completely changed and I was standing there staring at a person that I just meet. By the end of his time off he was starting to act like normal again I just chalked it up adjusting to being back home. Then for the second time I said goodbye for him to go back to basic training.

Three months later I went to his graduation and then drove him to where he would be stationed in Leavenworth, Kansas. Funny thing is the four days I saw him they felt strained , very strained. I'm going to fast forward to the point where I finally move to Kansas and where get a house on post and I'm pregnant.

So here I am pregnant and away from all my family and on top of that it feels as if my marriage has just hit rock bottom.

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