by Christal Collette

Created on: March 24, 2009

In a city of less than 40,000 your gossip isn't secure in the safety deposit box of life. Burlington, VT is not immune to your favorite stories being passed around the water cooler. Gossip is as contagious as a bad flu, so how do you prevent it? More importantly, how do you smooth things over when you've been revealed?

First, you need to understand why you gossip. There are a few reasons why we resort to discussing the meanderings of other lives. Often, the stories are just plain interesting. Other times we gossip because we have nothing interesting enough in our lives to occupy conversation. Unfortunately, the worst of us will gossip to hurt another co-worker or friend. None of these reasons are good enough to do it. You cannot justify the slanderous illness of gossip. You need to respect the fact that you're wrong for committing to the ill will of gossip. Once you can own up to your responsibility then the next few steps will be easier for you.

Second, stop it from the beginning. Before it turns into a 3rd grade game of telephone know that you can prevent the problem. You can change the subject of conversation. If you want to bold you can begin to compliment the person with whom you were previously gossiping about. This derails the gossip train and eventually the topic will move towards a better course. It's funny what a group of people will do when they see you're complimenting someone they were just demeaning. Everyone wants to be right so they will soon agree with you. Even the worst person has some good qualities that you can discuss.

Third, positivity is contagious. Rather than saying that misery loves company you should understand that company never really liked misery. That's right, befriend the gossiped. Learn more about that person. Invite that person to lunch with you. By creating a true friendship you feel kindness towards the individual rather than enmity. You will also gain a better understanding as to why that person does the things they do, as peculiar as those things may be.

Finally, what happens if someone found out that you were talking about them? This is a gossiper's worst fear. Even a person who barely ever gossips is afraid of this confrontation. The best thing to do in this situation is to be honest. Don't keep the Ferris wheel of lies spinning. Tell the person that you did say that and that is was highly inappropriate. Apologize and promise them that you won't hurt their valued friendship again.

By following these simple steps you'll be able to keep a good strong relationships and never fear going to work. After all, you never know what proper positive networking can do for you, someday that person you talk about could become your boss.

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