by C.D. Crowder

Created on: March 23, 2009

Friendship is a way to choose and expand your family. As friends gain other friends and create new relationships, your family expands further.
You may not always approve of the people your friends bring into your circle. However, when should you voice your opinions? Should you speak up when your friend is in an unhealthy relationship?
The simple answer is to trust you instincts. Which, of course, is easier said than done.

~Determine Whether Its You or Them

We all have moments where we feel our friend's partner is taken our friend away from us. Do we feel the relationship is unhealthy due to jealousy? It's important to step back and truly understand why we have uneasy feelings about our friend's relationship. Are they changing? Is it for better or worse? Also, if they are changing for the worse, is it worse for you or them? Maybe they're finding what they've always wanted and are happy. The worse part may simply be they're moving farther away from you.

Don't interfere in a friend's relationship if it's only due to insecurities on your part. Your friend deserves to be happy. Tell them you're afraid the two of you are growing apart and take steps to see each more often. If you ruin a good relationship due to jealousy, you'll lose your friend.

~Are They Happy

You know your friend inside and out. You know when they're happy, upset, anxious, and angry. You know their interests and goals. The best way to know when it's time to interfere in a friend's relationship is if you see them gradually becoming less happy.

Don't immediately jump to conclusions. Talk to them and tell them you've noticed a change in their happiness. If they can't find any real reason or tell you it's the relationship, then it's time to talk to them. Unhealthy relationships can damage a person. Whether your friend hates you or not, you have to try to interfere and help them walk away from their unhealthy relationship before too much damage is done.

~Trust Your Observations

Go out with your friend and their partner. See how they interact with each other. Does your friend seem happy to there? Does the partner seem to respect your friend? If your friend seems tense, unhappy, or is faking having fun, then there is a problem. If the partner treats your friend badly, then there is an even bigger problem.

Your friend's partner should be happy with who your friend is. If you notice your friend changing just to make their partner happy, then you've found yet another sign of an unhealthy relationship.

It may be hard, but you should interfere in your friend's relationship when you notice negative changes, loss of interest in things they used to enjoy, disrespect from their partner, and severe discontent. Your friend deserves to be happy. It's your responsibility as their friend to help look out for them. They would do the same for you. After all, you're family.

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