by Rosemary Redfern

Created on: March 23, 2009

Mistakes come in many forms. From simple things like calling someone by the wrong name, to mispronouncing a word, to missing a red light when the sun is shining, to being rude unintentionally, to misunderstanding what someone has said, to more serious things.

How we react to the recognition of the mistake depends on what we learn. It's hard to credit but we learn more by recognizing we have made mistakes than if we never did err. As small children, we mishear words and we need help in saying them correctly; we have difficulty with numbers and we need to keep practicing to get them right.

If we break the law, either accidentally or deliberately, and are caught there are punishments laid down to correct our behavior. The curious thing about that is the number of individuals who continue to break the law and continue to be caught and punished. That seems to be an unintelligent response.

That brings us to the intelligent reaction to mistakes. If we want to progress, the sensible behavior is to modify what we do so that we do not repeat the error. This is why admitting we have done the wrong thing is a strength and not a weakness. Some people feel it is a sign of weakness to admit to an error. That's another mistake. It's actually a sign of strength to say, Sorry, I made a mistake.' Admitting mistakes can help relationships because others recognize you don't always have to be seen to be right - regardless.

The next issue is recognizing that we have made a mistake. There are times when we feel we have been correct but misunderstood. This is the point when we need to sort out our standpoint from someone else's. If we stubbornly continue in the same way, we should not be surprised when we get the same negative reaction. A careful discussion of the issues might resolve the feelings.

The problem with learning from mistakes is that we have to admit that we are less than perfect. Perfection is an expectation in our society. As most of us want to be seen in the best light possible, it comes hard to admit we don't always come up to our own expectations. But, by admitting we've made a mistake, we can learn to be nicer people, more proficient individuals at living, more skilled because we have given more time to practice our skills at every level, more open to what is available because we are no longer stuck in a rut of what feels safe. As a result of learning from our mistakes we grow as individuals and get far more out of life than if we refuse to make changes.

We are never too old to make mistakes and we are never too old to learn from them and profit.

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