by Dolores Moore

Created on: March 23, 2009

Children, from an early age, view the world as a wondrous place. It is all fresh and new to them. The first lesson to be learned from a small child is to slow down and appreciate that world. Every leaf, creature and blade of grass is precious to a child. It is their legacy. The grown up world has systematically ignored the natural environment for too long, so that it, and many species within it are in danger of extinction. The child shows it is right to care, wrong to destroy. After all, though they may not fully comprehend the fact, this is their future we are talking about.

In their relationships with others, children prove to be very intuitive. They know, somehow, who is trustworthy and who is to be treated with less enthusiasm. That is, of course, rather a broad statement, and parents need to teach children how to deal with inappropriate behaviors in others, be they child or adult. But my experiences with my grandchild drove this intuition message home. We always stopped to speak to many neighbors, and she would shy away from contact with only two individuals. One was a weak, pompous, false sort of man, the other was a gossipy, begrudging woman. Now, both were perfectly pleasant with this three year old, but she would hang her head and refuse to engage with them. Somehow, she realized these were not good people to be friends with. Neither meant her any harm, but neither were people she wanted to know. They were just wrong for her.

Children develop a moral conscience, according to Piaget, by the time they reach the age of seven. The Jesuits used to say "Give me a child by the age of seven, and I will show you the man." Piaget hypothesized that a child needed no religious indoctrination or teaching to become moral. He was not alone, as many later studies (Michael Schulman) proved.

Even younger children are able to express and act upon, feelings of compassion for others in distress. How often do adults cross the street or walk away for fear of becoming too involved? Watch children in the school playground when somebody falls down or cries. They rush to comfort, call on adults for practical aid, deliver loving care unstintingly. This has got to be the right way to be, just helping when needed, as opposed to the wrong way of disassociation, as employed by grown-ups.

Children have a strong sense of justice and fairness. Up to adolescence, they will see things as black and white, right and wrong. Think of how devastated a teen girl can be when a good friend betrays her trust. She sees this as neither right nor moral, while adults seek some rationale or excuse. Maybe the young person has got it right. Betraying a friend is disloyal and unforgivable. Maybe the grown ups make too many compromises to keep the wheels turning and the facade intact.

To be honest, children are not always pure, good and true. We all know this, having been children ourselves. But we also remember how we entered into fisticuffs over cheating, lying, or defending a friend, and all other behaviors that broke the moral code of the child. That, I think, is what kids can teach grown ups about right and wrong. To stand up for what is important, to care for others, to give no quarter to the wrong people and to always stand by your beliefs. Thank the lord for children, the hope of the future, the blessing of today.

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