by Bob Trowbridge

Created on: March 23, 2009

There are two ways to be happy. One is to have everything you desire. The other is to have no desire. Most people, especially Americans, believe that the secret to happiness is to have everything they desire. The pursuit of happiness is the pursuit of things, material things (stuff) or immaterial things like fame and power.

The myth that the secret to happiness is to have everything you desire is an odd one. It exists in the face of the every-day experience of everyone. In fact it's a kind of insanity. Insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result.

The pursuit of happiness through the accumulation of things (material and immaterial) has never worked. You don't have to take my word for it. Look at your own life experiences. When you have desired something and you have finally achieved that desire, how long has your happiness lasted?

How long is it before the feeling of accomplishment wears off? How long before you are focused on achieving your next desire? If you are happy only when you achieve certain desires, how much of you life is spent not being happy?

How long does the excitement of having a new car last? What is the time between seeing your vehicle as a dream come true to seeing it as just a car? We are like children opening presents at Christmas. We open one present and are thrilled by it for moments before we rush on to the next present.

There is no secret to happiness because everyone already knows what does not make them happy. We do not know this philosophically. We know it because of our own experiences. And yet we live as if we never had those experiences. Even though the last thing that was supposed to make us happy forever did not last, we eagerly look toward the next thing that we are sure will make us happy forever.

What we should be learning from our own experiences is that nothing outside of ourselves has ever made us happy for very long. The problem should suggest a solution. Part of the solution would be to stop looking for something (or someone) outside of ourselves to make us happy.

The other part of the solution is to look within for our happiness. What does that mean? It means that we can cultivate an attitude of contentment, an attitude of appreciation for what we have. By focusing on what we want and do not have, we are constantly in a state of discontent. There is nothing natural about this unhappiness. It is created by our own desires and by our focus on our lack.

If instead we are focused on what we have and experience gratitude, we can feel contentment every day. This does not mean that we are constantly happy. If we are empathetic beings we will feel sad about the state of the world and compassion for those who suffer, those who do not have the necessities of life.

But we will not lose our sense of contentment or gratitude for what we have. If we do not feel full inside, nothing outside of us will fill us. If we do feel full inside, anything we receive from the outside will cause us to overflow with happiness.

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