by Jennifer Gerber

Created on: March 23, 2009

Marriage is a lifelong commitment at least that is what we all hope when we enter into it. However many of us have experienced the gut wrenching pain of divorce. When it happens it feels like a death and it is in many respects. It is the death of our hopes and dreams for the future.

In a newly formed relationship we have this attitude that love will conquer all, but the reality is marriage takes more than love to survive. As the years pass and the passion that you once felt for your mate begins to slip, you experience this downward spiral. It starts out with the little things like taking each other for granted, not spending enough time communicating, letting yourself go physically, constantly fighting with one another or allowing the intimacy in your relationship to dwindle. We prioritize our life but forget to do so with our marriage. Usually many couples see this transition begin shortly after the kids come along. Don't get me wrong having children is a wonderful blessing, but all parents are guilty of immersing our existence around them. In the process we forget who we are as individuals and as a couple.

There can also be third party interference that results in marital conflict for a couple. A marriage is between two people and when one of the partners allows another person to enter into it the results are devastating. Affairs can happen for many reasons but ultimately they end with the same result. It shatters the trust and shakes the foundation of the marriage. There are some that can survive an indiscretion. Forgive and move on to have a happy marriage again, but many end with divorce.

Another area that causes strain on even the best relationships is finances. When the unexpected happens and one of you looses your job or you're faced with a life changing event that drains your bank account, what do you do? Many people fall into a deep depression, bringing their spouse along for the ride. Money can give a sense of security and when it is lost or jeopardized it is difficult to re-establish your footing. The couple is stressed over how to make ends meet and they begin to bicker then withdrawal from each other. It is a vicious cycle that takes its toll, draining you physically and emotionally.

So what are some of the things that you can do to safeguard your marriage from the pitfalls that it surely will encounter? First you need to have a plan. Every couple will be faced with problems. However its how you deal with it that makes the difference in the outcome.

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