by Olivia Kay

Created on: March 22, 2009   Last Updated: December 04, 2010

As a parent, it's easy to feel frustrated or even hurt when your son or daughter takes actions against your wishes and faces a difficulty he or she wouldn't have had to had he or she followed your advice when you offered it.  Don't worry though, when your teen doesn't take your advice, it doesn't mean you failed, teenagers have chosen not to take parental advice since the beginning of time. 

You've been there, you know what your teenage son or daughter is going through, you truly do. You want so much for him or her to not make the same decision or choice that you made when you were faced with nearly the same situation during your teenage years. Sound familiar? Did your parents try and talk you out of making the choice or decision you eventually did? If so, why didn't you listen to them and follow their advice? This may help you realize that teens choosing not to take the advice of their parents is not a new concept, not at all. In reality, it's probably been going on since the beginning of time.

Teenagers are at an age where they are learning a great deal about the world around them and what the adult world holds for them. They are desperate to achieve the independence of adulthood, but are not quite ready for the responsibilities that come along with that independence. However, few realize this until they are forced to deal with some of these responsibilities head on after making decisions and choices that probably weren't the best to make. This is where parent/ teenager conflict seems to especially arise, when teens choose something other than their parents think or know that they shouldn't have and the result is a consequence that affects the teen, his or her parents, or both. After this, many parents start to become more overbearing and sometimes without actually realizing it, they try and push their ideas upon their son or daughter too much. While their son or daughter took a long time to adhere to or shrugged off their advice before, this forcing of advice is probably only going to cause them to completely ignore it rather than listen to it as the parents seem to be secretly hoping, but deep inside knowing is likely not to happen.

Making our own decisions and choices and essentially our own mistakes is a part of the learning process, a vital part of growing up. We may know, as teenagers, that we are right and eventually find out that we weren't, but we have to try our own way first, it's just the way that stage of life is. Not all teenagers never listen and adhere to their parents' advice, but few listen to it all the time, in every situation.

So the next time that your teenager seems to take your advice in one ear and out there, don't be alarmed. It's a natural part of growing up and not a signal that your teen doesn't love or care about you. The best thing to do is to offer suggestions to them calmly while letting them know that the ultimate decision is theirs and to always be willing to lend an ear to whatever your teenage son or daughter may want or need to say without quickly passing judgement. Your teen will know you care, hear what you have to say a situation, and even if he or she chooses not to use the advice that you gave him or her, he or she knows what advice you offered, and has an option of what to do if his or her choice or decision fails to pan out the way he or she planned.

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