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Crossing the line between harmless fun and bullying has several distinguishing features. For the person doing the bullying, it may seem like harmless fun. To the victim, it can be a painful and even debilitating experience that can affect choices for the rest of a person's life. Harmless fun is something that people look back on later and laugh about. Bullying causes uncomfortable and hurtful pain that is no joke to the victim. So, how can a person distinguish between harmless fun and bullying? These are 10 questions to ask about a person's behavior to determine if it has crossed the line from good fun to bullying..

1. Is it a put down about physical appearance?

One of the most common ways that light fun turns to bullying is to make fun of someone for physical appearance. This can include weight, wearing glasses, crooked teeth, freckles, height, and even looks in general. The purpose of making fun of someone else's looks is to make the bully somehow better. For girls it often involves their physical body and being perceived as beautiful to males. At a very young age, frequently by kindergarten, girls perceive themselves as better than others by the clothes that they wear and the size of the girl's body. Petite cute girls are perceived as more popular than the girl who may be taller or weigh more. It carries on into middle school and high school with comments about the sexual attractiveness of the girl. For boys it often involves physical athleticism. The boys who early on demonstrate athletic abilities there is generally more acceptance. Those who do not meet that standard are put down, ignored or not picked for the team. Verbal comments and exclusion due to physical appearance cross the line as bullying.

2. Is it meant to exclude someone?

It is not good fun to exclude a person. A parent or adult may say that you can't choose a child's friends for them. Perhaps not, but children can be taught to be friendly to everyone and not exclude them. Not allowing someone to sit at the lunch table or next to them in the classroom is bullying. In the classroom setting when everyone is selected to work in groups except one or two people, that is bullying. Being the last person selected for teams or inviting all the girls in a class to a party except one is definitely bullying. Any time it involves exclusion it has crossed the line from good fun to bullying.

3. Is it meant to diminish or lower a person's status?

If the purpose of a comment or action is to make someone lower than

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