by Beckie Knowles

Created on: March 22, 2009   Last Updated: March 23, 2009

On a sunny day, look up into the billowing white clouds and see if you can spot God perched in the heavens picking out couples he think would look great together in 'NOW' magazine. Maybe not quite, but 'marriage made in heaven' seems to conjure up that kind of image for me.

Whether you consider this article to be discussing if marriages are pre-determined by God and if are some people are just made for each other, there is an underlying question. Do some marriages last because the couple were 'meant' to be together? I have to argue, no. Even the most well matched men and women argue. Marriages 'made in heaven' only appear to be that way because the couple have good communication and conflict resolution strategies.

Never go to bed on an argument, my Mum used to tell me. I've grown up believing that even if you don't think you are in the wrong, being the first one to apologise is the brave thing to do. Usually it works out too. Once both sides have come down from their high horses, a discussion and reconciliation is possible.

God may put two people on Earth destined to fall in love and get married. However, even if God designed those two people to be 100% compatible, it is still down to the couple to make their marriage work. Every time a marriage is on the rocks, you can't suddenly turn round to God and say hang on, you brought us together why have you let it go wrong?'. Marriage is never easy. It is a constant and continuous thing. The day you say your vows might be the one everyone remembers, but the most important days are the ones where you learn to live and love together, and work to stay in love.

You may hear people talking about a couple saying 'they were made for each other' or 'it's a marriage made in heaven'. However the brutal reality is that 50% marriages end in divorce. Once you have found the perfect man or woman, walking with them down the aisle and saying 'I do' is a commitment not just to each other, but to making your marriage worthy of heaven. Show compassion, forgiveness and selfless, unconditional love and 'heaven' can be achieved.

Although I am not married myself, I have been surrounded by incredible examples of successful, happy and heavenly marriages throughout my life. First and foremost, my parents have been married over 20 years and I have not once witnessed them 'not talking' or being openly angry with one another. They must have suffered rough patches during their marriage, just like every couple do, however they have always had three things on their side; communication, love and trust in God. My parents have to work at their marriage like everyone has to, though I completely believe their marriage was made in heaven!

Some marriages are made in heaven, but it is us who must maintain a heavenly union together.

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