by Barbara Ehrentreu

Created on: March 22, 2009

How far should you push your children to succeed? This is a question that parents rarely think about until their child is suddenly unable to perform at the level of the average child in the group. Some parents measure their own worth by the deeds of their children. When little Billie doesn't go down the slide like all the other kids those parents wonder what is wrong. Their child didn't succeed. What these parents don't realize is that Billie has his own timetable and pushing him will only make him feel there is something wrong. Children need to accomplish things in their own time. Yes a parent can help a child to succeed, but the key is what method the parent uses.

Children respond to attention and affection. You can encourage a child to succeed by praising that child for little steps toward their goal. However, some parents have no patience and wind up using coercion of various means. They threaten their child with various punishments and take away things they love to try to get them to succeed. This doesn't work and on the contrary causes a child to seethe with anger and resentment towards that parent. In later years this can sour the relationship between that child and the parent who pushed him or her too hard.

Certainly every parent wants their child to succeed in everything they do. However, all children learn at a different rate and that is why it is so detrimental to any child to compare one child's developmental skills with another one's. When the next-door neighbor's child can ride a two-wheeler after a few trial runs and your own child takes a few days and still has the training wheels on his or her bicycle there is nothing wrong with your child. It is also important for a parent to take time and remember that this is a child and pushing him or her to ride before he or she is ready might cause irreparable harm to that child's delicate emotional and social development. You can only praise the progress your child makes and continue to provide support until the child feels confident enough to take off the training wheels and try to ride alone.

Some parents want their child to excel in athletics and when they find their child is not doing well in a sport they belittle them and force the child to do better. You know the type, the soccer moms and dads who shout at their children from the bleachers when they aren't playing as well as they should. Or the parent who comes to a Little League game and when their child doesn't hit the ball or misses catching a

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