by Jill Jacks

Created on: March 22, 2009

Life is about relationships and the interactions in our relationships. As a general rule it is not advisable to interfere in a friend's relationships. It does not matter if we are referring to a relationship with another friend, lover or spouse, sibling, or parent. It also doesn't matter what the issue in the relationship is.

Interference is just that. If you want to contribute to your friendship think less about interference and more about support. If your friend continues the relationship and you've interfered in it you will likely become the ousted party. Supporting your friend's relationship doesn't mean you have to like the relationship, or that you think the relationship is a healthy one. It simply means respecting your friend's choices.

To be frank, how is it that you are the best person to decide whether your friend's relationship is healthy or unhealthy, does or doesn't require changing, or should continue or not continue. There is much that goes on behind the scenes or behind closed doors that your not privy to.

If you think it's a bad relationship because every time you see your friend they have nothing but negative things to say about the relationship or that person you should realize negative things are commonly spoken about but good things often aren't. Considering your friend remains in the relationship indicates something about the relationship is keeping them tied together. Leave the ties that bind alone and let them unravel if they will.

If your not able to stay neutral and listen to your friend's complaints you should advise you are finding it difficult to hear these things as it makes you feel bad or concerned for your friend. Let them know you are biased and you care. It may be best not to hear anymore if you feel you can't stay neutral towards the other party in the relationship.

The door has been opened if your friend is complaining to you about their relationship in terms of being able to provide some feedback although it is best to listen. Friends don't generally heed each other's advice but if they hear themselves making the same complaints repeatedly they will often remedy the situation just not at your speed.

If you are going to give advice or an opinion make sure your friend asked you for it. Try to keep remarks generalized if possible and keep neutral as best your able to. This is especially important if you have any kind of relationship with the other involved party. If your friend sticks the relationship out you don't want your relationship

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