by Jill Jacks

Created on: March 22, 2009

From the time we are born until we reach the age of twenty-one it feels as though we are always waiting for something whether it is the next birthday, starting high school, getting our driver's license, or being able to go to a bar. What our long wait was really over was independence. It was a long hard war to get there and our stakes are now firmly planted in the ground.

Is it any wonder then why our parents put up such a battle to retain their independence. As hard as it is for us to watch them deteriorate either mentally or physically it is equally hard for them to accept we no longer need their help we are waiting instead to look after them.

It is not only their pride that gets ruffled. It is painful to realize one can no longer do what they were once able to. It can be frightening. I know seniors who only drive during daylight hours as they are well aware their sight is deteriorating. They minimize their risk by sticking to driving under good visible conditions and staying off the roads when it rains or snows. They do this because they don't want to lose their driver's licenses and don't want to admit it might be time now or soon to quit driving.

The pain of realizing your faculties and body parts are betraying you is intensified by knowing others are aware of it too. There is no saving grace. Therefore we must be ingenious as well as cautious in plans for securing our parents well being. Remember they are adept at reading you and determining what you are up to. After all they raised you.

First and foremost if ever your parent is at serious risk you will have to forgo your tact as well as their pride and take the steps to ensure their safety and the safety of others. If they are no longer capable of driving any attempt to eliminate the number of trips they will make is not an answer.

If your parent no longer has the vision or reflexes required it is imperative you take responsible action. Talk to your parent's family doctor and let the doctor determine if they are still able to drive. If not the doctor will need to report this to the motor vehicle department or you may have to. Remember while your parent's safety is your prime concern there are others on the road and they have family as well. A serious accident could set your parent back dramatically and end up taking further independence from them.

If your parent had a slip and fall already and appears unsteady on their feet be wise and contact their physician. If a walker or cane is needed the physician will

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