by Esther Andrews

Created on: March 22, 2009

In this era of high divorce rates, you should be mentally and emotionally prepared for the possibility that you may go through periods of your life when you will be single. If that happens, don't sit around feeling helpless, waiting for your knight in shining armor to ride in and save you. You need to be able to stand on your own two feet.

Don't view men as your "life raft" helping you stay afloat in choppy water. A man should be your co-captain with whom you share responsibility, as well as the ability, to do anything you need to do for your family and yourself. With this approach, should you find yourself alone, you'll be prepared to handle it.

Whatever your man does, watch how he does it, learn what tools he uses, do the chore alongside him. Don't assume that you can be ignorant about how to mow a lawn or fix a toilet because you happen to have a man who can do it for you. If you don't currently have a man, there are plenty of resources online, or in magazines and books that can help you.

You also need to have marketable skills that can help you land a good job at a decent salary even if you currently have a man who earns enough for you to stay at home. If you don't have the skills, take classes, do volunteer work, or take temporary jobs that often afford you the ability to pick up skills without requiring the commitment of a full-time permanent job.

Many of us baby-boomers were raised by stay-at-home moms, with the resulting expectation that we too would have a strong, reliable, responsible man to take care of us, our house, our yard, and the finances. It's a family structure that is so familiar to us, we find comfort in it. As a result, many of us who are first thrust into independence simply panic and wonder how we'll ever make it on our own.

Today's Gen X/Gen Y daughters have watched many of their parents go through divorce and are being raised by single moms, who are showing how women can and do survive, making all the household decisions, solving all the problems, earning a living, paying the bills, painting the house, washing the cars, and so on. This will be the new generation of women who will know they can do it all, but also know the difference between wanting, versus needing, a man in their life.

If you're newly single, force yourself to do one tiny new "scary" thing every single day. Before you know it, you'll be an entirely different and much stronger person, ready to take on the bigger challenges and standing strongly on your own. It's much better to seek out a new partner, if you want one, from a place of strength and self-confidence. You'll be proud of yourself and all that you've accomplished!

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