Dealing with conflict is one of the least enjoyable aspects of a manager's job, but also one of the most important. If conflict is ignored, it sometimes goes away, but more often than not, it escalates until it becomes a serious issue. Here are some tips and tricks for dealing effectively with employee conflicts before they get out of hand:
1. Give each person a chance to "vent".
Without agreeing or disagreeing, simply give each person a chance to describe the conflict. This is best done in an individual meeting with you. Ignore any unprofessional language the employee uses or emotionally-charged statements made; after all, you are trying to get to the root of the issue. That means focusing on honesty, not diplomacy. When the person is done explaining, calmly summarize what you view as the core facts without including any personal attacks or judgments. For example, "What I hear you saying is that Jerry has been submitting joint projects as his own individual efforts and that you don't feel you get credit for your work" If the employee corrects you, then rephrase your summary until he or she agrees that you've described the conflict accurately.
2. Ask each individual what he or she is expecting.
In your individual meeting with each person, ask a question along the lines of, "What are you hoping will happen?" or "In your opinion, what would be the best possible way to resolve this?" If the individual replies with something unreasonable, ask for another answer. Keep trying until you get an idea that might be viable. If necessary ask leading questions like, "If Jerry includes your name on reports, will that solve the problem?"
3. Get the individuals together.
Now that you've heard each person out and gotten some ideas about how to resolve the conflict, bring everyone involved into a meeting. In order to avoid any heated conversation, you should describe the conflict yourself using emotionally neutral language. Be sure to avoid the appearance of taking sides. For example, instead of saying, "Jerry has been taking all the credit for group projects," try something like, "Ann is concerned that the work she does is not getting recognition."
Next, state the proposed solutions, giving credit to each person for proposing them. Be sure to give the employees the recognition even if you were the one who planted the ideas. For example, "Jerry, Ann is fine with you writing the reports, but she would really like you to put her name on as well," or "Ann, Jerry feels he should continue writing the reports, but he wants you to attend the poster session." By focusing on the employees' willingness to resolve the conflict, you will help them see each other in a positive light.
4. Put it in writing.
Type up a quick "memo" to all parties involved. Briefly summarize the issue and the agreed-upon resolution. Having it in writing will help employees stick to the plan.
5. Praise the employees for their willingness to work our their differences.
Keep it simple and colloquial, and make your statements apply equally to everyone. Something along the lines of, "Good ideas, guys. I think what you came up with here today will work out well," should suffice. Resolving difficulties is never easy, and the fact that your employees were able to compromise deserves some verbal recognition.
Note that the focus is not on deciding which person is right or wrong, but simply on developing a viable solution. Ideally, neither party should walk out feeling like a loser or a winner. Instead, all individuals should feel like they have clear instructions on how to move forward and get past the conflict.