by Lanae Celeste

Created on: March 21, 2009   Last Updated: April 09, 2009

Were your dreams of a classy apartment decked in art deco dashed by the crashing economy coinciding with the first payment due on your student loan?

Perhaps you have then joined the legions of twenty- and thirty-somethings who have had to suck up their pride and come groveling back to Mommy and Daddy's front door.

The reality of Ramen noodles and returning to the beds of our adolescence has disintegrated our post-degree fantasies. This generation faces the highest student-loan debts in history coupled with an ever-worsening economic crisis and an ever-climbing unemployment rate.

When you add this fact to the ideas held by many in our parents' generation that everyone should be able to support themselves after graduating high school moving back home after college has never been more necessary or unbearable.

Some may be blessed with loving families who welcome them back with opening arms. Hey, it's not necessarily a bad thing to have Mom do your laundry and enjoy home-cooked meals every night.

Others don't enjoy such a warm homecoming. Many parents feel they must frequently remind their prodigal sons (and daughters) that:

a) they are grown adults who should be able to provide for their own room and board and

b) that it was dear old Mom and Pop's checkbook that paid for the fancy education that apparently was all for naught, so why should they keep opening their wallets for children who should have flown from the nest long ago and never returned?

Both these situations foster strengths and weaknesses. If you find yourself in the first scenario, it is easy to be lulled into the trap of dependence, finding it ever more difficult to emerge on your own again. It is important to constantly remind yourself that this is only a temporary fix, so rather than spending your days playing video games and your nights partying, you must keep your sense of focus.

Stay active in the job search. Save as much money as you can if you are lucky enough to have employment. Pay off as many debts as you can while you live rent-free.

If you find yourself in the second situation, above all, remain patient. Parents who are constantly on your case about living back at home can quickly become a source of frustration or even anger. However, it is important to remember that they really do have your best interests at heart.

Coddling may feel nice, but tough love is much more effective at helping you become your own person again. So calmly explain to your parents that you understand their position, but even though you are trying your best to get on your feet again, times are tough and you need them to be patient with you just a little while longer. Maybe you could even remind them that the latest studies have shown that an unemployed person in our current economic situation stays unemployed for an average of 5 months.

So, although it may feel unfair or embarrassing or even downright degrading, don't forget that this too shall pass. Remember to thank your lucky stars that you even have a home to go back to, and that if you can just persevere long enough, some day you will be able to establish your own household.

Just don't forget to go easy on your own future children who find themselves in the same boat you are sailing in right now.

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