by Vivianne Ellis

Created on: March 21, 2009   Last Updated: March 22, 2009

Many times stopping a stalker begins with being able to say no at the first sign of them being persistent or annoying - and mean it. Many stalkers take advantage of most people's habit of being 'nice' to everyone and being uncomfortable denying others what they want. A stalker will push and harass you in order to get information from you and may even emotionally blackmail you by stating they will hurt themselves if you do not give them what they want. Being 'nice', unfortunately, is a habit that many of us will have to break in these days of people who think they have the right to take over your life.

The first thing you must do is recognise the signs that point to the other person potentially being a stalker. Here are some indications to look out for.

If a casual acquaintance comes on too strong and insists your relationship is more than it really is.

If the other person turns up at the places you go and tries to monopolise your time and attention. They may be following you.

If they question you on other relationships you have and insist on 'looking out for you' or taking you where you want to go.

If they get upset when you tell them you are dating other people and will not be in an exclusive relationship with them.

If they leave letters or presents where you can find them such as on your car, on your doorstep or on your desk.

If they call or message you multiple times every day and refuse to stop.

If you try to break off your relationship with them and they say they will hurt themselves or you. It is a fine line between love and hate and all that is normally needed to set them off is for you to say that the delusional relationship is over.

If you have the feeling or signs show that your home has been entered without your permission. Always call the police if you believe you have been burgled. You may also find that things have been moved or taken. Document everything.

There are ways to stop a stalker and they need to be undertaken at the earliest possible indication that this person is acting irrationally. If anything they say or do sends out warning signs then put these methods into action.

Do not give them your address or phone number no matter what excuse or reason they have. Tell them immediately and in no uncertain terms that you are not interested in having any kind of a relationship with them. Do not waffle about or try to spare their feelings. These people are predators - they have no feelings. All they are interested in is their needs and wants. They are seeking

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