by B.W. Harold

Created on: March 21, 2009   Last Updated: June 22, 2011

Parents always want to see their children succeed and excel at something they, themselves never accomplished. Some parents are so afraid of scarring their children, that they give them free range. These children are often the most difficult to deal with for two reasons.

1. They have no ambition in life because they never had a need for it. 

2. They try to shock a sense of expectation out of their parents by causing trouble or harm.

Although the best approach is probably something in the middle, sadly most parents swing from one extreme to another.

I will go on record and say that I am "not" a parent. That is why my article is comprised of professional insight. On this particular subject I feel I can give a worthy observation. As a child who has been pushed to be my best, I have reaped the benefits of this practice and some of the consequences.

The question is "how far should you push your children to succeed?" Answer, as far as the parent can without damaging their relationship with their child. Every child is different. Some children want to know what their parents expect. Others just want to be accepted for who they are and pave their own way. Not knowing which way a child leans is a land mine waiting to explode.

Children should respect their parents, but parents shouldn't abuse that respect.  In Patricia Sullivan's article "Great Expectations," from the website Parent Resource Toolbox, she advises parents to listen to their children.

"Children will let parents know when they're overwhelmed, either directly or indirectly... Parents need to remember that making sure their children acquire those skills is more important in the long run than whether a child gets an A on a report card or wins a swimming meet." (Patricia Sullivan)

There are many reasons a parent pushes their child. According to Kmat.com, some of the factors include:

> Family background

> Economic stress (monetary expectations or lack of)

> Doubt of parenting skills

> Belief that competition "helps."

Family background of course is "tradition," some parents feel that they need to carry on some sort of legacy. What they fail to see is their child may not be wired for a parent's expectations. Family background can be one of the most challenging factors in a child's success. Anyone with an abusive or disinterested parent knows how hard it is bridge a divide.

Economic stress can be anything from anxiety about how college will get paid for to a parents' expectation of their

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