by Chris Thelen

Created on: March 21, 2009   Last Updated: March 28, 2009

When my wife and I met, we were not exactly at the same place spiritually. I grew up in a small community dominated by a Catholic Church and school. My wife, on the other hand, grew up in the city in an agnostic home. For her family, life was about whatever you thought was best for you. In the eyes of her parents, religion was not to be bothered with, especially "those Catholics."

I had never encountered someone who was indifferent toward God. I recall sitting with her in her parent's living room, shortly after she graduated from high school. She was holding a Bible still wrapped in plastic. "Can you believe my brother gave me a Bible for graduation?!" she said as she rolled her eyes and set it aside.

At that moment, I was facing the reality that she did not share my beliefs about religion. It made me examine my own beliefs. I was falling in love with her and yet I did not know if I would sacrifice my beliefs to maintain the relationship. "How important is my faith to my life?" I asked myself.

All that summer we continued to see each other and we became more serious. As the weeks passed and the time came closer for her to go off to college, the question still haunted me. If I were serious about my faith, would I need to break up with her? For the first time, I debated what faith meant to my life. I began to pray for wisdom, lacking the clarity to understand what I was really requesting from God.

My love for her only deepened as she prepared to go off for a weekend orientation for the college she would attend in the fall. I felt I was at a crossroads in my life. It was late summer and soon I too would be back to college. Over the weekend I wrestled with my thoughts about how marriage would work if we had different views of God.

In church that Sunday morning I recall praying about my situation. I had a distinct feeling inside that if I was truly committed to God, I would have to break up with her. I wanted it both ways, but I knew that a real relationship with God meant I would have to give it all to him. I could not have divided loyalties. I had to break up with the woman I was growing to love.

I was apprehensive about seeing her again that Sunday evening. Could I really break it up with her? Could I demonstrate my commitment to God by acting on my faith? Faith seemed like such a trivial reason to break up with someone, but to me it had become a pivotal reason. As I approached her house, I thought only a miracle could save this relationship.

"Hi!" I said as she greeted me at the door. She looked visibly shaken. "Are you OK?"

She just sighed. "I was in a bad car accident. I found out God is real."

I tried to process what she had just said, "What?"

"I found God. I was in a car accident early this morning. I thought I was going to die," she explained. "God saved me."

I was shocked. We sat on the porch and she went through everything that had happened: the car coming at them on a curve and the head-on crash, the feeling that she was going to die, and the strong feeling of God's protection.

There it was, right in front of me. God had worked a miracle, and she was sitting right next to me. While I had been agonizing on where I stood with God - whether I really believed he is who he says he is - I had actually went through the process of committing myself to him. He had tested my love for him and I had shown that I was willing to sacrifice it all for him.

From that point on, my wife and I shared our spiritual journey. After almost 28 years of marriage, we have grown in our faith and our love for each other. Together, we share a bond that would not be possible without God at the center. I give God the credit for that.

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