When I was younger I'd heard of friends parents splitting up because one of them had cheated . I heard it happen frequently during my childhood yet I never fully understood what cheating was. It was never something I would dwell upon, after all I was 10 ,why should it be something I thought about for longer than 20 seconds. But when I was 15 I had my own first hand experience of how devastating cheating can be . And what happened made me grow up a lot faster than I should have. I caught my dad cheating on my mum. And the fallout from that is probably still to this day one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through.
I had a happy enough childhood, nothing out of the ordinary . From what I could see my parents where happy. Yeah they argued occasionally but no more than most couples which I guess is why it was so hard to imagine him cheating on my mum. My mum is an incredible woman, and my dad always seemed to adore her. Maybe he adored her so much he couldn't help but hurt her. Even to this day I've never asked him why. It's not my place to ask the questions, I'm not in the marriage.
The night I found out I was at a friends and had decided to stay over. My dad at the time was working as a nightclub doorman at the weekends to help a friend out, and the extra cash seemed to come in handy at well. It was after 11 when I was trying to call him to ask if it was OK to spend the night at Kane's when he cut my call off. I tried 4 times in succession and each time I was cut off so I sent a text. I simply asked if it was OK to stay over at Kane's and could he text back and let me know right away. I expected a normal reply " Yes sweetheart no problem, phone me tomorrow when you need picked up,be good Love you". A typical dad response, but that response never came. Instead I was greeted with a text saying " Party on girl, I'll keep your dad sweet , Kelly". Who the hell was Kelly I remember thinking. I honestly can't really remember what happened the rest of that night, I remember a few more texts being sent back and forth by my dad , but to be honest I was sort in a daze. I remember crying a little and Kane reassuring me it was probably nothing, just someone joking around and that all I could do was speak to my dad the next day. I slept fitfully and the by the next morning I had convinced myself that I was crazy to think the worst of my dad and even managed to make a little joke of it with Kane and his brother .
But when my dad came to pick me up , the look on his
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Cheating and consequences: Thinking things through
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