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My ex-husband is a gambling addict. As with any addiction there were secrets, many of them money-related, but most of ours were short term and we were able to recover from them. He would lose a paycheck and I would juggle bills until the next pay day. When the phone got turned off because the money got spent at the track, I worked out a deal with the phone company to pay the bill later. That was our life. While it is certainly not easy to have to deal with these kinds of secrets and stresses on a regular basis, once I knew what to expect I was able to take control of the money and prevent most of these things from happening. By being diligent, I was able to keep us afloat for a long time. Unfortunately there was one secret he kept that was not so simple. This secret was not only impossible to prevent, but it kept us in debt with the IRS for almost a decade.

The secret was that he was claiming 9 dependents on his W4 even though it was only the two of us in the household. The idea, of course, was to have more money in his paycheck each week to cover his gambling losses but in the end it cost us so much more. The first year it happened I was completely blindsided. We were filling out tax forms and, rather than the refund we were expecting, it showed that we owed over $2000. We were a newly married couple, struggling financially as it was, and didn't have the money to pay this. We contacted the IRS and began a payment plan that would last much longer than I ever expected.

Throughout the year we would discuss this issue and he would assure me that he had claimed the right number of exemptions. It wasn't true. Even when he did claim correctly, he would quickly change it as soon as he saw how much tax came out of his check. He never told me. Each year for the next 5 years I would discover, too late, that we owed more money. Interest and penalties were piling up at an enormous rate. The letters kept coming and the tension between the two of us continued to build. I knew I couldn't trust him and was frustrated that I was tied to the debt along with him.

Eventually we divorced but I was still responsible for my share of that debt. I ended up refinancing the house and using the equity to pay off the IRS so that I could be free. Yes, it meant making higher mortgage payments, but it was nothing compared to what we had been paying the IRS and the interest and penalties had stopped. I got my first refund check in many years and it felt good to have some control again. The good

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