by Tracy Gassel

Created on: March 20, 2009   Last Updated: March 21, 2009

The most important factor in the art of flirting is to remember it is indeed an art form. Upon considering this in the simplest form you will see that a first impression is like a blank canvas; the picture you decide to paint is ultimately your privilege and usually your downfall. Before you can paint a proper picture for the girl in question you have to first consider what she would like to see. First try to come up with a couple of general assumptions about what kind of person she is.

Is she classy(conservative,poised and/or modest looking ), Is she wearing a cross around her neck(religious or possibly a girl next door type), does she have a dress on but you can see a tattoo somewhere on her exposed skin( a good girl with a wild side, adventurous) etc... These observations will help you find something to initiate a conversation. If you find a common ground before you ever open your mouth you will notice that once you start the conversation she most likely will run with it. If you are lucky enough to pick an opening line that snags her attention then let her talk and most importantly listen to what she says. Pick out part of what she is talking about and ask a question, this will show her that you are not only paying attention but actually interested in what she is saying.

If you make it past this first step it's time to introduce yourself, this could go differently depending on what type of girl you are approaching. For this example let's say you are at a club and the lady your interested in is a casual girl in a pair of jeans and a wife-beater tank top, you initiated a conversation by commenting on her tattoo that you can safely assume she is proud of, which of course she is and also the other ones she has hidden under her clothes( which gives her the opportunity to flirt back a little by showing you some skin) after she responds ask her who did them and once she tells you there name take this opportunity to offer your extended arm and your name. This type of girl doesn't want a limp hand shake or a cheesy kiss on the hand, she is hoping for a firm but not to firm handshake. This point is very important to a female because they want a man, not a weasel or a playboy.

The next important step is watch her body language, a girl will tell you everything you need to know about the progression of the flirting by what she does with her body. Some of her movements will be obvious and deliberate (hand on the knee, a spontaneous hug, a wink etc.) the trick is to keep an eye out for the more subtle hints, like a genuine lingering smile and a little flushing in her cheeks (she is at least feeling a physical connection) or the opposite of that and she has her shoulder turn toward you and is looking around the room randomly, this is game over my friend and your not getting past an awkward and uninvited introduction, don't waste your time and don't take it personally your just not what she thinks she wants!

Time to exchange digits, don't ruin the momentum with a lame line like "so can I get your number" try asking her out on a real date ex. "I would love to talk to your more, can I take you out for dinner some time?" this will give her control (which women love) at this point your lady will offer you her number so you can contact her for that date. Society today has lost the art of dating and courting each other, give a girl a reason to dress up and feel sexy then treat her like a gentleman (open doors, pull out her chair, ask her oppinion on things and LISTEN to her) and you are home free.

Learn more about this author, Tracy Gassel.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.